Woad Warrior

I have to say it

2010-07-08T06:11:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time watching people tell other people about Jesus in like a minute (assuming the person hearing has never heard of Jesus) and then expect them to make a life decision.

It usually goes like:
Does your life suck? Well it sucks because you were meant for Jesus and since you don't know him it sucks. On top of which you need him because your sins separate you from God and the only way to be back with God is to believe Jesus.

If I was listening I would ask:
Why do you think my life sucks? Who is Jesus? Where is he? What are sins? Why did they separate me from God? When did that happen? I don't remember God being there and then God being gone? I just have to believe Jesus, believe what about Jesus? That he exist? That's all?

I'm not trying to criticize (though I know I am doing that very thing). I just struggle watching people do this. They assume certain terms and phrases should be simply understood. Culturally people know nothing about Jesus. If I knew Jesus from the culture around me I would know very little about him. A matter of fact I would basically know that Jesus hates Muslims, gays, and liberals. Oh and of course people who have an abortion. If I only knew Jesus from sitting in most churches I would know that Jesus did good things, forgives people for bad things, died and is in heaven.

What life decision does this information tell me I need to make?

I feel like people are often not informed and then are expected to make a decision. And then, this is the part that gets me, they are left alone. Regardless if they made a choice or not, they are left alone to figure out all the details. What are their chances?

I mean I full heartedly believe we need to evangelize the nations. I believe in the Great Commission. But I just wonder sometimes about the people who are falling through the cracks. It is heart breaking, and sometimes I want to say it's not their fault (though I know it is).

Just something to think about

Sadness

2010-04-05T14:06:00.000-07:00

So I was going to write a comment about this super spiritualized blog I found and an emotional video to encourage people to fill that spiritual hole with themselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phL0RLKL8bc&feature=player_embedded

But truthfully it simply too sad to elaborate. Simply said this person is lost... and there are many lost... and it is sad.

It is particularly sad when people can acknowledge they need something but can't quite find the void.

I don't have any words for it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ2sC56-ybw&feature=channel

it's just sad

Gospel Compilation from Arizona Mission Trip

2010-03-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

Technological Explosion

2010-03-09T06:46:00.001-08:00

One thing I like about God is that he often reminds us, or at least me, that he is all I need. For example, from the very beginning of this semester I have been fighting to keep viruses (yes plural) off my computers (yes plural). It has been a struggle trying to keep my homework on a working computer. Anyway as I’d fix one the other would go down… almost non-stop.

That wasn’t all. This last weekend my wife and I were having a family friend stay with us as they attended a photography conference. About two days before this friend got to our place we lost our hot water, then later our water all together (well it was off and on), and then finally the plumbers ‘accidently’ cut our phone line so our internet was gone.

I’m not trying to complain really. God was good to us the whole time. It’s just when you see all these things we depend on in our age fall away but God doesn’t it makes me glad I have such an awesome God. But this is also an explanation of why I haven’t had any good post in awhile. I’ve been fighting technological wars since January.

About 200 words on Matia

2010-03-01T09:13:00.001-08:00

It is difficult to write 200 words on somebody who has blessed you professionally and personally because often those two areas blend. But Matia has done an excellent job about keeping those lines distinct. In the professional realm she has been a huge help to my wife and I. She has helped both of us find work and think about how we could carry ourselves in a more professional manner. Also when I was injured at work she was right there with me, helping me get through the insurance paperwork to actually be treated. Matia helped me so much in a professional and sweet way that I could never thank her fully. Also I’ve seen her interact with people in such a gentle way even when they were not giving her the respect she deserves. Any organization would be truly blessed to keep an employee of this magnitude. As great as she is professionally, my personal (non-work related) interaction with Matia has been far superior. She has been a wonderful friend to my wife, who absolutely adores Matia. She is a friendly and loving person and just radiates kindness as soon as you interact with her. Seeing her with kids is so funny and sweet. Children love Matia almost as much as she loves them. She is a fabulous example of Christ.

Formating Formating Formating!

2010-02-13T21:25:00.001-08:00

Well I've been formatting, recovering, and reformating my computer for the last couple weeks. I think I finally got it straight.... for now... so I have a few post coming. Keep your eyes out!

Relive the past

2010-02-03T10:26:00.001-08:00

Do you ever have those moments in the past that you wish you could relive? Were there times you wished you acted differently? Perhaps wish you could apologize to someone who you can no longer communicate with? Perhaps wish you could make a different decision? Perhaps wish you could just relive a joyful memory? Do you ever wish you could go back in time and relive one of your favorite memories?

The awesome thing about the future is that you can redo that stuff WITH the added benefit of having gained the knowledge from the past. What I mean is that you can apologize to people now. You can make different decisions. You can more thoroughly enjoy present activities! You don’t have to wait. We don’t have to live behind shameful memories. We don’t have to live with tears on our faces. We don’t have to live with regrets.

In Christ, this is true. We are free to look toward the horizon and look forward to the coming of the Son. We are free to live in Christ. We are free to make Christ proud. We are free! And what the son frees is free indeed (John 8:36)! Hallelujah!

Are you kidding!?!

2010-01-24T17:24:00.000-08:00

http://blog.peta.org/archives/2010/01/helping_animals.php

Visit that site. It's a Peta Blog about helping animals in Haiti. They're making an appeal to have rescue workers do what they can to save animals. They specifically as rescue workers to give scraps of food and clean water to animals.

As they make this appeal they even show an image to the right of the posting which included two people buried under destruction. Wow.

Has Peta gone too far.... again?

Celebrate God!

2010-01-19T13:58:00.000-08:00

One thing that I think the church often doesn’t do is celebrate God, this is myself included. We have worship on Sundays, which is good. But how often does worship seem like obligation rather than celebration. Now don’t get me wrong. There is a side of obligation where we owe God worship because he is worthy regardless of how we feel. But God is so awesome he should be celebrated!

This has really hit me hard recently. Since moving to Texas I have heard more conversation about sports than God…. and I attend a seminary! Now that might be a slight exaggeration but sport (particularly football) certainly competes with God. You know there have been several times in church where you’ll hear an amen or two… but if you mention football you’ll get the loudest amens.

And I am not trying to pick on sports fans either! Let’s talk about gamers for a second. How many people will yell and make some noise and get excited about the new Call Of Duty or the newest Assassin’s Creed?

Or even worse yet! How many people pay more attention texting than listening to the Scriptures? You’ll have kids who can text full paragraphs (sometimes in text speak but not always) without looking just by remembering the rhythm of the buttons? Can these kids remember the 10 commandments? I’m not even talking about remembering them in the proper order but can these kids write out all 10?

Is God not as exciting as football? Is God not as exciting as video games? Texting?

One thing I use to do to get excited about God, as some of my brothers will remember, was to give God a toast. Some of my friends and I (the believing friends of course) would give toasts to go regularly. We also develop it into where we’d give a toast to God and go around saying one awesome thing about God! It was awesome.

Since getting married I’ve done a few toasts with my wife but we pray regularly, which is what we should be doing. Don’t get me wrong praying is vastly more significant and valuable than toasting.

However I wonder if I should start toasting again also. : - )

Well if you are reading this and you like challenges then I will call you out. Give God a serious toast every day for a week (just one week) and see how it makes you feel.

Thanks!
Peace

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ - Philippians 3:7

2010-01-07T15:45:00.000-08:00

If anyone else thinks of having grounds for confidence in the flesh, I have more. Baptized after faith, from the Orthodox Protestant perspective and from the Southern Baptist denomination. Conservative from the Evangelicals; regarding the Bible, a seminarian; regarding ‘zeal,’ I have gone on short term mission trips; regarding ‘righteousness’ according to the church, a regular attendee…even on Wednesdays!

Gospel of Saint-Selfish 3:4-7

Feeding Sheep or Amusing Goats - Spurgeon

2009-12-31T09:25:00.000-08:00

All true passion is born out of anguish - David Wilkerson

2009-12-07T18:03:00.000-08:00

Long week

2009-12-03T00:24:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I hurt my back at work. My superiors suggested that I get checked out to ensure a greater problem did not develop. After much persuasion from my beautifully kind wife and a little persuasion from an intensifying pain growing in my back and neck I saw the back specialist. To my surprise, because my lack of faith in hospitals, the doctor found some issues with my back and sent me to the Physical Therapist immediately. Since then I have been doing some physical therapy with the supervision of the back specialist and throughout the whole process my work has been extremely supportive.

This is not what I am writing about however, though I almost wish it was. During one of the visits, the doctor realized he never x-rayed my neck. So he sent me in to get a few x-rays of my neck and spine, after which I returned to the room and waited for the doctor. After a few moments the doctor walked in and without saying a word he started feeling my neck. He stepped back and got this look then continued to feel my neck, almost as if he wished he was wrong. Obliviously at this point my mind is racing to figure out what could he possibly be doing. I’m thinking, hoping, secretly praying that it is something like tonsillitis. He then asked me how long have I had ‘that.’ My puzzled look must have given away that I had no idea what he was talking about since he then instructed me to feel my neck. It felt normal to me…. but I’m not a doctor.

“Do you feel that lump right there?”
“uh-hu”
“Do you feel it on the other side?”
“um…no not really”
“exactly”
“. . . “

“Do you have a history of lymphoma?” The question alone was enough to strike the match. A knife in the dark. The bright blue sky became a sunless overcast. For a brief moment dread, fear, panic became my friends. My mother passed away from lymphoma and my father has it. After a few breaths the dread, fear, and panic left. My everlasting friend, Jesus, was on my side. Don’t misunderstand my words here. I wish I could have been somewhere far away from this. Somewhere, anywhere better. This is bigger than me. At first I felt like I could hardly hold on. But this is where I am. And yet, I am already somewhere better. I am in Christ. Nowhere else I’d rather be. As you could image the doctor had his concerns, but he was my workers-comp doctor. He wasn’t allowed to do anything about this for me. However, he asked his radiologist friend to take a look at the x-rays for me. I would get more information in about a week when I had my next appointment.

Now I faced my next challenge. How do I tell my wife? I was going to see her at her workplace. I did not want to tell her at her workplace. However, she was expecting to see and hear from me. How do you explain what is going on without bringing terror? I know my words won’t come out right. I know my words would pour out like a cup of water against a brick wall when she heard the words “the doctor found something.” What do you do? I’ll tell you what you do during that solemn hour. You cheat. You asked the Comforter to do His thing. Play dirty and get God involved. That’s what I did. He was good and gave her strength. He already has made her a strong woman but the Comforter certainly did His thing.

Following that scene was an exhausting week of fading motivation for homework before finals. I wish I could say I was so strong that I didn’t cry, but truthfully I was too weak to cry. I was hoping that a tear somewhere else might escape to heaven for me. I prayed. I wished I had some clever rehearsed words to say, but I had nothing. I am not so brave. I wanted to get away but didn’t know how. I couldn’t even ask God to take it away. All I could ask was him to be glorified and to give me the strength and endurance to be faithful to whatever end. I had confidence in His being glorified but doubted my strength. Dark days are tiring. Anyone who has gone through any dark days where times are strange can tell you that it is exhausting. Add that with a pain in your back that already exhausts you and leaves you restless and you find yourself at a day worse than yesterday.

On top of that I didn’t know who to tell. I didn’t know what to tell. I didn’t know how to tell. So I didn’t really tell anyone. My wife knew. My brother knew. That’s about it. I didn’t want to say anything prematurely. Though now thinking back on it a little more clearly I wish I asked people to pray for me earlier. I still haven’t been able to tell everyone. It’s not something you just want to pick up the phone and talk about.

Anyway the week progressed. We had no plans. We figured the doctor would probably want a biopsy and a bunch of other things which our terrible insurance wouldn’t cover. Our terrible insurance which just days prior decided they would drop us since we moved to Texas. We disagreed slightly about how to handle the situation. She wanted me to get checked out and I wanted to just hope for better days. She seemed to think that I was broken more than a needle and thread could fix. I married up. :-) Though we disagreed we were definitely too weak to actually fight or anything.

Thanksgiving break ended and Monday followed, which was the day of my next appointment. Truthfully I was hoping that the doctor would forget to mention it. I even told that to my lovely wife, who then told me if I didn’t remind the doctor she would take a vacation day and make me. After the physical therapy I had my appointment with the doctor. The first thing he did was pull out the x-ray report on the lump. The radiologist was nice and vague. Essentially he said it could have been anything, including a few worse things. The doctor however, seemed more concerned that before. For this I am grateful. He insisted that I took copies of the x-rays and the radiologist report. I was supposed to take these to a primary care physician.

After some effectively gentle ‘encouragement’ from my sweet wife I decided to go to the doctor on campus. If I haven’t revealed it by now let me state it clearly. Not only am I a coward on general principals, I am a bigger coward regarding hospitals. Medical stuff gives me the willies, the heebee jeebees, the yucks, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Truthfully I was more concerned about the lump causing me to be in the hospital more than killing me. I may have looked controlled on the outside as I waited in the lobby for the doctor, but on the inside I was a child trembling in the corner trying to find a way out. Once the doctor came in and reviewed the information, I though I would be waiting for some blood test or something. However, he simply said “it’s probably nothing, you don’t have lymphoma.”

Hope? Confusion? What!?!

His logic made a lot of sense to me, but I’m not a doctor. He seemed extremely confident that I’m fine. I’ve had the lump for awhile and I wouldn’t have noticed it if the back specialists didn’t. The campus doctor even said he wouldn’t even pursue figuring out why I had it. Essentially I was guided to be concerned if it changed size or anything.

Hope? Confusion? What!?!

I’ve received three very different views. 1) It’s most likely cancer 2) Could be anything including nothing and something worse 3) It’s most likely nothing.

Well, what do you do? Three answers. I have my preference but what should you do? I’ll tell you what you do during that solemn hour. You cheat. You asked the Comforter to do His thing. Play dirty and get God involved. That’s what I did.

So I’m praying and seeking wisdom. I trust that God has worked this through the counsel of his will (Ephesians 1:11) and that God will complete the work he has started in me (Philippians 1:6).

God is Good

ESV Study Bibles

2009-11-25T10:21:00.000-08:00

My wife and I have been looking for a study Bible that we could use. Well we both use ESV and they just happen to recently have created their ESV Study Bible. So my wife and I head over to our local Christian Book Store, which I might leave nameless… for now. Anyway they were selling the ESV Study Bible for 94 dollars. We are poor seminary students and we cannot afford that much just for one. That turns out to be almost 200 dollars for both. This inspired a search to find an affordable ESV Study Bible.

My criteria was a plain Black study Bible. I didn’t want any symbols on it and I wanted it to be a soft leather(ish) cover (since we were going to be paying for it).

I did some searches through www.textbooks.com but I didn't find anything too decisive.

I eventually came across www.christianbook.com which led me to this page.

For both Bibles, with our names engraved on it, it was going to cost 98.98 plus tax and all that jazz.

Then I found www.retailmenot.com, which my wife loves. I found this page and it happen to have a coupon I was able to use to get free shipping and no taxes (something like that).

We order them on the 19th and used regular shipping. They came in today (6 days) and we are very pleased. Our only debate now is do we use them now or wait till Christmas?

So to be clear, through our savings and coupon stuff we were able to get one Bible at the price of the local Christian Book store price and the second for 4 dollars. The engraving they tossed in for free ;-). Just depends how you look at it.

Anyway I just wanted to share that God blessed my wife and I with two study Bible for the price of one at our local Christian book store. I wanted to share the story incase anybody else wanted to try to do the same. So feel free to follow the links and do the same.

Happy Hunting

Augustine Confessions, just a tid bit

2009-11-15T18:41:00.000-08:00

iv (4) Who then are you, my God? What, I ask, but God who is Lord? For ‘who is the Lord but the Lord’, or ‘who is God but our God?’ (Ps. 17:32). Most high, utterly good, utterly powerful, most omnipotent, most merciful and most just, deeply hidden yet most intimately present, perfection of both beauty and strength, stable and incomprehensible, immutable and yet changing all things, never new, never old, making everything new and ‘leading’ the proud ‘to be old without their knowledge’ (Job 9:5, Old Latin version); always active, always in repose, gathering to yourself but not in need, supporting and filling and protecting, creating and nurturing and bringing to maturity, searching even though to you nothing is lacking: you love without burning, you are jealous in a way that is free of anxiety, you ‘repent’ (Gen 6:6) without the pain of regret, you are wrathful and remain tranquil. You will a change without any change in your design. You recover what you find, yet have never lost. Never in any need, you rejoice in your gains (Luke 15:7); you are never avaricious, yet you require interest (Matt. 25:27). We pay you more than you require so as to make you our debtor, yet who has anything which does not belong to you? (1 Cor. 4:7). You pay off debts, though owing nothing to anyone; you cancel debts and incur no loss. But in these words what have I said, my God, my life, my holy sweetness? What has anyone achieved in words when he speaks about you? Yet woe to those who are silent about you because, though loquacious with verbosity, they have nothing to say

Saint Augustine, Confessions, trans. Henry Chadwick (New York, New York: Oxford University Press, 1998), pg 4-5.

Passing your class vs your opinion?

2009-10-31T01:43:00.000-07:00

So I’ve been curious if it is wrong to write something in a paper you don’t necessarily agree with? I don’t mean write something heretical or anything of that nature. What I mean is that I wonder if it is wrong to write the answer your professor is looking for? Sometimes they are not looking for the right answer but rather their answers. Not only are they looking for their answer, but if you write you answer you will be penalized.

So is it wrong to put something in a paper you don’t agree with to be a ~~good~~ successful student?

You are as counter-culture as you want to be

2009-10-24T10:17:00.000-07:00

I read this in the Southwestern Journal of Theology and it really made me think. So I just wanted to share this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Southwestern Journal of Theology. Volume 49. No. 1. Fall 2006
Russell D. Moore
The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
Louisville, KY.
theology@sbts.edu

Southern Baptist Sexual Revolutionaries: Cultural Accommodations, Spiritual Conflict, and the Baptist Vision of the Family.

Page 23

"We have become the people that Jesus warned us about. Southern Baptists want to more and more distance ourselves from our blue-collar, economically impoverished roots, and more wish to be seen as affluent, suburban, and politically influential. But this comes with a cost. The reason we have made peace with the sexual revolution is because we are captive to the love of money. Southern Baptist men and women want to live with the same standard of living as the culture around them and, as the Spirit warns, we will grind our churches and our families to pieces to get there (Jas 4:1-4). Why does the seemingly godly deacon in a conservative Southern Baptist church in North Georgia drive his pregnant teenage daughter to Atlanta undercover of darkness to obtain an abortion? Because, however he votes his “values,” when his crisis hits, he wants his daughter to have a “normal” life. He is “pro-life” with, as on feminist leader put it three exceptions: rape, incest, and my situation.

Why do Southern Baptist parents, contra Paul’s admonition in 1 Corinthians 7, encourage their young adult children to delay marriage years past the time it takes to discern whether this union would be of the Lord? Why do we smiling tell them to wait until they can “afford” it? It is because, to our shame, we deem fornication a less awful reality than financial ruin. Why do Southern Baptist pastors speak bluntly about homosexuality and X-rated movies, but never address the question of whether institutionalized day-care is good for children, or for parents? It is because pastors know that couples would say that they could never afford to live on the provision on the husband alone. And they are right, if living means living in the neighborhoods in which they now live, with the technologies they now have. Christian pastors know that no godly woman will say on her death bed, “If only I had put children in daycare so that I could have pursued my career.” But do Southern Baptist pastors ever ask whether it might be better to live in a one-bedroom apartment or a trailer park than to follow this American dream? Rarely, because it seems so inconceivable to us that it doesn’t even seem like an option. When confronted with the challenge of a counter-cultural, family-affirming—but economically less acquisitive—life, too often we see what are inerrant Bibles define as the joyful life, and then we walk away saddened like another rich young ruler before us who wanted eternal life but wanted his possessions more (Luke 18:18-30).

Light in the Darkness

2009-10-10T12:26:00.001-07:00

Not many people know this but I once worked for an at risk after-school program. I was a teacher. One of my first days on the job and I was assigned a particular group of kids. These were the “trouble kids.” Most of them didn’t come regularly but there was one in particular I’ll never forget. His name was Gabriel.

When I met Gabriel he wanted nothing to do with me. Him, like his brother, just cussed at me and caused trouble. Early on one of my co-workers informed me about Gabriel’s family life. His parents were druggies. When Gabriel and his older brother were about 2-3 their grandparents found them in an open field by themselves. Apparently they crawled out of their parent’s trailer, while their parents were unconscious. Later, after the parents took the kids back, the kids witnessed their father get shot down by SWAT. The mother was taken to prison, and the kids were back with their grandparents. The grandparents were great with the kids; however the grandfather shortly passed away and the grandmother had her legs amputated as a result of her diabetes. As you might be able to understand these kids had behavior problems.

As I worked with this kid I always kept his home life in mind. One particularly bad day Gabriel was frustrated and just blew up. He was upset because he was done with his homework but our policy was to give the children more work to keep them busy. In rage filled tears he screamed to me that he didn’t want to do it and he couldn’t take it. He said “I’m at school all day and they give me homework and I get in trouble when I’m done and they give me more. When I come home my grandmother can’t do anything with me so she gives me chores all day to keep me busy. When my brother comes home he won’t play with me, but him and his friends beat me up. And when I come here you say we have to do my homework and when I’m done you give me more work!”

I felt horrible. I felt horrible because this kid was totally right. This kid was being overlooked by policies that were supposed to ‘help’ him. This kid didn’t need more work to keep him busy or more work to give him an academic edge; he needed love. Everything else would be a waste of time if this kid wasn’t being loved. So I told the kid he was right. Then I just played with him. From that point on we basically would do one piece of homework from each class and then play games.

A part of our after-school program included a snack time and some reading time. Well as Gabriel and I were kind of bonding he wanted to read what I was reading. The problem, if you could really say that, was that I was reading the Bible. I wasn’t sure if I was really allowed to let him read my Bible; however knowing one day I would stand before God I decided I wasn’t going to stop him, especially since I had more than one with me. So we started doing this thing where he would pick verses for me to read and I would pick verses for him to read. It was funny because he’d always pick something in Revelation about the prostitute to see if I would read it, which I would. For him I would pick Romans or the Gospel of John. He got off easy. He still had behavior problems but he was getting way better.

A few weeks later it was my turn to teach the lesson and I was supposed to teach about science. So I had my lesson plan ready and I was going to teach about light waves. I was going to teach how light can fill a room because of the way it functions. So I start by asking the kids if we shut the windows would it be dark in the room, setting up to ask how come a little tiny light source (the light bulb) can fill the room. So I asked “if we shut the windows would it be dark in here?” The kids said yes except for Gabriel who said no. He liked to be a wise guy sometimes so I figured he was being really specific because it was day outside. So I asked “ok, would it be dark in here if we closed the window AND the curtains?” Again the kids said yes but Gabriel said no. A little bit frustrated I asked “ok, would it be dark in here if we closed the window AND the curtains, duct tape the frames shut and put towels underneath the door ways?” And again the kids said yes but Gabriel said no. I figured I’d give it one more chance. I said “Ok, would it be dark in here if we closed the windows, the blinds, the curtains, ducted taped all the edges of the windows and doors, all of us got in the closest, and put a towel underneath the door way of the closet?”And again he said no. Thinking he was being a smart aleck I finally go “Ok Gabriel, why would it not be dark in the closet?”

Do you want to know what his response was? He said “It would not be dark in here because God is light and God lives in us and we are the light of the world! And darkness is overcome by light.”

I was in shock. This young boy quoted 1 John 1, 2 Timothy 1, Matthew 5, and John 1. Not only did he quote it, he quoted it in front of the whole class! I knew I was fired but I was also so happy for this boy.

Then he said “Can I say something else Mr. Brewer?” I was still in shock by what he said, trying to figure out the right thing to do, happy by how politely he asked (huge change), and just in a daze so I said “yes.” He walks up to the board and draws two big circles. He then draws little shapes inside the circles, basically earth. Then he filled all the continents with the marker but left one little spot unfilled. He then said “if all this darkness represents evil and this little spot represents God’s people, who do you think would win in a battle?” I, being completely flabbergasted said “who?” knowing that I was so fired. He said “the white spot because they have God and nobody can overcome God.” Then he drew on the board “1 vs. 9999999999999999999…” as far as he could go with the board. “God,” he said “could defeat that amount of people x forever because he is all powerful.” I simply sat down. I could only watch. He then spoke to the class about how powerful God was and got the class involved!

Luckily the other teacher with me was also Christian. I did also have to talk with the owner, but it was about how pleased she was by his behavior. I was so happy to see how much change took place in his life. For the record I did NOT tell him all the things he wrote on the board, he figured it out by reading the Bible. I didn’t get fired but a few weeks later the program was shut down and I was not able to get any contact info.

I pray for him still. I hope to see him again one day. I don’t know if he’d remember me but I’ll always remember him. Hopefully I’ll at least see him in heaven.

At the feet of Jesus

2009-10-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

1. You let her do that while she was dying. Till she couldn’t walk. Till she stopped breathing.

2. The hatred

3. Then “independence” was declared as a method of condemnation against orphans

4. The scapegoat

5. Your destructive secrets

6. The drugs

7. You allowed and forced them to live in shadow

8. The fear

9. You ignored the red flags raised by each of their lives

10. The accusations

11. You never knew them, almost two decades and you never knew them.

12. The gossip

13. You never taught them

14. The screaming

15. You never gave them a chance

16. The betrayal

17. Vanity was your concern

18. The Wal-mart

19. You never protected them

20. The abandonment

21. At best you just watched

22. The violence

23. You led them towards darkness

24. The lies

25. Your need that was greater than their existence

26. The pride

27. You allowed the sacrifices to become scorn

28. The evil

29. Wickedness of the heart

30. You

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2009-09-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. - Matthew 12:36-37

In class

2009-09-17T17:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in class I think about different things and my mind wanders.

But in my New Testament class I often think about the movie Life of Brian.

And in my Church History class I think of the game Rome Total War

Is that wrong?

No excuse

2009-09-11T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have no excuse for this

Thanks Jake!

Religious....

this is not religious....

THIS IS FAITH!!!!!!

I had to say it

2009-09-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

Alright alright, I can't take it anymore. I have to say it.

For all of those people who believe the lake of fire and hell is just a metaphor....

shouldn't you think about it? What is the meaning?

What does this mean... to you?

Marriage Counseling

2009-09-07T12:44:00.001-07:00

I couldn't resist putting this up

2009-08-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

Ok so let me explain. I was looking some stuff up online about gun saftey classes and things of that nature. Well this one place got really high reviews for saftey classes and selling that I had to look. They talk about even training kids at a young age. The picture made me laugh.... and jealous.

A moment of silence

2009-08-24T16:00:00.000-07:00

http://torrentfreak.com/the-pirate-bay-taken-offline-by-swedish-authorities-090824/

Do we have to pay for this with our taxes?

2009-08-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

Sad article

2009-08-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

This article was written by Don Graham and taken from http://www.imb.org/main/news/details.asp?StoryID=7989&LanguageID=1709

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Lottie Moon shortfall limits Gospel access, leaves missionaries on hold
8/14/2009

By Don Graham

RICHMOND, Va. (BP)--They had said goodbyes to their neighbors, friends and church family. They had sold their home and furniture. They had resigned from their jobs. They had even given away the family dog, a miniature collie named Q-tip.

When Tim and Audrey Shepard* decided to answer God’s call to share Jesus in Asia as Southern Baptist missionaries, they knew there could be obstacles. But the couple never expected that the obstacle would be lack of funds from Southern Baptists.

The Shepards are two of the 69 candidates in the pipeline to serve as long-term missionaries through IMB (International Mission Board) who have been told they can’t be sent to the field at this time. That’s in addition to an estimated 350 short-term candidates who also have been turned away from missionary service this year.

In May IMB announced it would severely limit the number of missionaries sent in 2009 due to reduced giving through the Cooperative Program and a $29 million dollar shortfall in the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering. More than half of IMB’s annual budget comes from the Lottie Moon offering, 100 percent of which is used to send and sustain the more than 5,600 Southern Baptist missionaries serving overseas. The goal for the 2008 offering (which funds the 2009 budget) was $170 million, but only $141 million was received, $9 million less than received for the 2007 offering.

The Shepards previously served 15 years with IMB but left the field in 2004 and moved to Jacksonville, Fla., so their daughter, Nora,* could attend high school in the United States. They planned to return to the mission field when she entered college and began that process in the fall of 2008. They were on track to arrive in Asia by the end of 2009 to partner with another IMB missionary couple working to spread the Gospel among some of Asia’s minority people groups.

But all that came to a screeching halt July 27 when an IMB representative called the Shepards to explain that their missionary appointment had been put on hold because there wasn’t enough money to send them.

Audrey says the news has left the family discouraged and confused.

“You feel sort of directionless — we really don’t know what to do now,” she says. “It’s tragic that money is holding back God’s work around the world. … There are people dying every day that are not going to have the opportunity to hear about Jesus because so many missionaries are being held up.”

So far the Shepards haven’t been given a firm date when they will head to the mission field. Spring 2010 has been mentioned, but no promises have been made. That means the Shepards will be on hold for at least six months. Right now they don’t know where they’ll live or what they’ll do. They’ve decided to stay temporarily in their church’s mission house. They’re not even sure where to register their 8-year-old son, Eric,* for school this fall because that depends on where they’ll live.

There’s a chance Tim and Audrey will be able to keep their jobs in Jacksonville, but since they didn’t renew their contracts, there’s no guarantee. Tim taught middle school math and science; Audrey was a school psychologist.

“We’re ready to go to the field,” Tim says. “My mind is already on ministry and going back to secular jobs just to pay the bills doesn’t excite us too much.”

The Shepards’ delay also is having serious repercussions in Asia, at least for the team they were set to join.

Sam and Elizabeth Hughes* are Southern Baptist missionaries on the edge of exhaustion. They run a handful of ministries focusing on 24 minority people groups, 18 of which are untouched by the Gospel. Without the Shepards, that’s more than a million lost people divided between one husband-and-wife team with three young children at home.

Sam was counting on the Shepards’ arrival to provide some much-needed relief — helping with ministry logistics, training national partners and following up with new believers or those who’ve expressed an interest in learning more about Jesus. God has blessed the work to the point where it is more than Sam can handle alone. He says news of the Shepards’ delay — and of the Lottie Moon offering shortfall — hurts morale.

“It’s time for a gut check. Are we serious about reaching the world or not?” he says. “I’ve got a list as long as I am tall of things I need them (the Shepards) to be doing.”

Though it’s a serious inconvenience and fraught with logistical nightmares, the Shepards say the delay hasn’t subdued their passion for reaching Asia. In fact, they’re so committed to their calling to be Southern Baptist missionaries they’re considering moving to Asia on their own dime so they can start learning the language and be more prepared when they begin their assignment.

“Communism has destroyed souls of the people — there’s no hope,” Audrey says. “We want to be a part of sharing Christ where there are so many who are dying without Him.”

The Shepards say that if their delay, and the delay of 67 others in going to the mission field, helps Southern Baptists realize the importance of lost souls overseas, “so be it.

“I’m happy if that’s what will come of this,” Audrey says. “That people wake up and realize that they need to give their money to support missions.”

*Names changed

Don Graham is a writer with IMB.

I cancelled myspace and this was my reason

2009-08-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

After you cancell myspace you have a comment section which you can explain why. So this is what I wrote.

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Everytime I sit down to turn my myspace on this giant bug flys around. It'll land next to my hand and it begins to threaten me if I log into myspace. I always think its bluffing till I log in and it bites my hand. It hurts really badly. :-( So I decided I better cancell before it starts biting in other places (if you know what I mean). I named him Pony.. and he bit me for that, so now I call TJ. It's the darnest thing... anyway so I gave up on myspace cuz my hand couldn't take it anymore.

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It made me laugh so I decided to share it.

Two ladies off to work

2009-08-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

So I watched two women today go off to work. My wife and my neighbor’s wife (I think). It really made my mind start working. I am so grateful for all the people, often women, throughout history who have been given no glory for all the work they have done.

Christianity sometimes receives a bad reputation for disregarding women. These commonly come from people outside the church. I think people outside the church critique Christianity for this because they don’t understand how much we actually value and love those whose glory is not shown. They don’t understand how the only thing that can make certain actions and behaviors better is to have them done in secret. Giving a gift is one thing, giving a gift in secret is far better.

As I thought about these two women going to work I thought about all their sacrifices that I don’t notice. My wife sacrifices so much so that I can go to school and so that we can serve God. It truly inspires me. And if I ever become anything great, which is not likely, it will only be because of God. And God has chosen to use my wife to help me. I could not do ministry work without her…. Heck I can’t imagine trying to live without her. I know God is all I need but I am so thankful that he uses these people, again often women, who won’t receive as much credit as they deserve to help the rest of us survive.

I think about the Gospel, the Good News that God came down to earth to save us from our sins and offers this forgiveness to all people, and how it has been passed down from age to age. Then I start thinking about how the saints who helped preserve and spread the gospel. Then I start thinking about how all those Saints we are grateful for (for their service to the gospel) probably had someone (male or female) in their lives (who didn’t receive as much credit as they deserved) who helped them receive and spread the gospel. I mean take someone like Martine Luther who helped spread the gospel throughout Germany. There was probably someone in his life whose glory is in secret which inspired Luther to serve. I’m not saying Luther is perfect or his mentor is perfect but I thank God for them both. Think about somebody like Saint Patrick or Billy Graham or John Piper, not that I’m trying to put them all on par with each other or saying their theology is 100%. What I’m saying is that all these influential people most likely had someone who inspired them that we’ll never know about this side of heaven. And I am Thankful for them.

My wife inspires me; but there are others who have inspired me. I’ve been blessed to have had professors who have mentored me (if they knew it or not), friends who’ve mentored me (if they knew it or not), even my oldest brother has been a sort of mentor.

I know I’m sort of rambling and going off on tangents but those are my thoughts. After my wife left for work I saw my neighbor’s wife (who I’ve only said “Hi” to once) leave for work. And I thought about how much my wife’s influence on me is probably similar to how much my neighbor’s wife influences him. And all the work I ever do and my neighbor ever does will at least in part be because of their support, love, and sacrifices. The world may not see how much I love my wife or how much I value her above myself. They may view me and say that I have a disregard for women because of certain beliefs I hold. But they do not see. Their eyes are covered.

The truth is that I need my wife and do not think higher of anybody above my wife (except for the Lord). She is the most sacred thing in my life (except for the Lord and his work). I see her go to work and/or just watch her work hard around the house for our lives and I admire her greatly. I watch what she does and I learn from her. And I believe I am not the only person who does this. I believe these things I mentioned are basic teachings of the faith. Not just for females either. There are many influential men who have inspired many people that will never receive their credit this side of heaven.

I am thankful for them. People cannot do this on their own. I did not come up with the gospel. I receive it by hearing through preaching and believing through faith. People older in the faith came along (if in person or by writings and works) and helped me fine tune my understanding. They helped me understand God a little better so I can listen for is voice a little easier.

I am grateful. And one day I hope to do the same for those who come after me until Christ returns.

I am a sterotype....

2009-08-04T06:27:00.000-07:00

I write more later

Victory Outreach Church

2009-07-18T02:07:00.000-07:00

There is so much going on… too much to write. But there is one thing I want to say.

Today I was sitting in my apartment and I started to hear this loud noise. As it grew I started to get annoyed so I looked outside to see what it was and I started to see all these people. It kind of spooked me a tad as all these people started to line up, as rap was very loudly playing over these speakers. Anyway I started to watch as the music lowered and somebody started speaking over a microphone. It was kind of strange but then it started to make sense.

This group of people was a Victory Outreach congregation. They were coming to my apartment complex and started sharing the gospel and some of their testimonies. It was an amazing thing to see and hear. Many of these people were former gang members and drug addicts and many of them spoke about losing their right to be a parent as a result of their choices. Then they all spoke about their choice to follow Jesus Christ and how it changed their lives.

It actually blew me away. At first I was kind of annoyed since it interrupted what I was doing. However they were just offering stuff to me. They asked for nothing. They are having an event August 1st and are giving away free food and drink. They literally asked for nothing, except that if I wanted to give my life to Jesus that I feel comfortable to speak with one of them.

As I listened to the people speak the thing that really got my attention was how certain people in my life, who I wished would return to Christ, would never hear the awesomeness of what was being saved. These people would want a deep philosophical/theological explanation with a bent that would leave them in control. If these people of mine heard what I heard they would be put off. However as I listened to their confessions of faith I heard people who met the living God and were truly changed. They were changed so much they felt like they needed to share it… in my little town…at my small apartment complex….with me.

And what makes me special enough to hear this message? Nothing, I just happened to be listening

I thank God for churches like this one. I’ll be praying for them.

Oh btw I got a video of them on my phone. Sorry its upside down but I was leaning over the balcony so I could see the people.

Pride and Prejudice

2009-07-09T17:21:00.001-07:00

Ok I made this for my wife.

Enjoy

Bummer

2009-06-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

Ok so my physical got rescheduled (LONG STORY) so I ate last night and I'm going to eat tonight. I mean real food. I ate some McDonald's last night. Then I remembered why I never eat their food. I felt so nasty. I'm going to have Del Taco or pizza tonight. But then I'm going back to my grass diet till I have the physical. :-(

The things I wish I could eat.

2009-06-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Ok so my Physical is Tuesday and I've been eating only grass (for like a week) so I can lose weight. So I made a list of the things I wish I could eat right now. :-(

1. Tacos (three hard and three soft)
2. Pizza (thin, extra cheese. Not my usual order but my craving)
3. Burrito (extra beanie and cheesy)
4. Ding Dongs
5. Donut (that small chocolate kind you find in grocery stores)
6. Dr. Pepper (HUGE GLASS)
7. Potato Salad
8. Pepperonis (yeah, like a bag of pepperonis)
9. Sub-sandwich (Foot long)
10. Hot dogs (corn dogs too)
11. Quesadilla
12. McDouble

AND SOME CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES WITH EXTRA CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!!

Enjoy these for me :-(

Tuesday night... I thinking about a McDouble (new discovery of mine at McDonalds, which I never got to)

Please spare a prayer for me. Ask for strength, courage, and endurance

Couldn't help myself

2009-06-12T14:11:00.001-07:00

Reformed Rap

2009-05-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

I took this from my brother-in-Christ's wordpress.

http://diaryofabrokenvessel.com

Through one man

2009-05-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

I don’t know about yall but sometimes I have more spiritually minded weeks than other weeks. This week has been a week where I have a lot of spiritual things on my mind. Anyway there has been a lot going on spiritually this week for me so I thought I would share some. This week I’ve been thinking about fasting. I have a hard time understanding it. Understanding it in the sense of what place does it have in our lives, how it should be done, when it should be done, so on and so on. Anyway I’ll probably do a study on that later. However during these few days I’ve been fasting and reading scripture books straight through. For example one day I read Mark all the way through and another day I read Romans all the way thought. Romans 5:12-21 is what I want to talk about right now.

12Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned— 13for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. 14Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.

15But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. 16And the free gift is not like the result of that one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. 17For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

18Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. 19For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous. 20Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, 21so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Now this is a very common verse. However as common as this is I must confess I have had trouble understanding it sometimes. When I think of what happened with Adam, I think he sinned then it infected all mankind. So I would be confused when I would hear “…For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many” (verse 15). The reason I was confused was if Adam affected ALL mankind then I’d imagine that Jesus’ gift being “much more” than the trespass would affect ALL mankind as well. The problem is the rest of Romans doesn’t point to ALL of mankind being saved at all, and neither does the rest of scripture. So what did it mean?

When I read it straight through I seemed to have focus on a different part of the verse than I had been taught in other churches. When I was reading it the verses seemed to focus on the effect rather than on who was effect. What I mean specifically is that Adam’s contribution was that sin entered the world. Before Romans 5 the book of Romans speaks about sin getting its power from the Law; not because the Law is evil but because sin sort of had a target to attack us at. Romans 5:13-14 speaks about this matter a tad “for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.” Essentially it seems to be saying that when Adam sinned sin had come into the world and started killing, even though people didn’t have the law. If you can follow this trail of thought you can see the huge impact sin had on state of existence itself.

Now considering the effects of Adam’s sin we know that Christ’s gift had to effect “much more.” So here is what I was thinking. When Christ came, not only did he stop death but he gave us life… and not just life but life eternal. See the power of death is temporary. We physically die. However Christ’s power of life is permanent. We will live eternally. This is a bigger impact! Now all those who are gone will come back (and face judgment). But Christ’s impact is even greater still. See when sin came it only needed one instance of sin to capture you “…For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation” (part of 5:16). When you are saved by Christ it covers everything “…but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification” (the rest of 5:16). So in this way sin just needed one thing to get you, but when you are freed, even if you sin (regardless of how many times) you are still free; because Christ’s power of life is stronger than sin’s power of death.

This may have been obvious to everyone but it certainly wasn’t obvious to me… till I read it on my own.

Not many will get why this is funny

2009-05-15T21:49:00.000-07:00

If you want to understand why this is a little funny try going to the website below

The Link Was Removed Due To Safety Issues

Confessions of a myspace ad

2009-05-13T00:21:00.000-07:00

Ok so I recently started messing with my myspace again because I found out some kids from church use it. Anyway I really wish I could right-click and block image on these ads. It seems like myspace uses these really slutty adds. For example almost everytime after I leave a comment or something I get a match.com advertisement where they have a woman who appears to be sitting at her computer screen having a conversation with me that will end with one of us taking off our clothes.

Anyway I found a confession from this girl named Ashley

Hi my name is Ashley and I want to tell you the secrets of my job

For the next 2mins I'm going to try to convince you that I am every girl you could possibly want and I live near you

Then I'm going to convince you that I'm shy, nervous, and naive

I will do this by picking out the lettuce from my teeth

Then I'm going to convince you that I'm daring, outgoing, and exciting

I will do this by farting and seeing if you heard it

Then I'm going to convince you that I'm silly, funny, and playful

I will do this by denying what you just heard me do

Then I'm going to convince you that I'm thoughtful, deep, and intelligent

I will do this by doing math in my head and add 2 and 3 together even though they are completely different numbers!!!

Then I'm going to convince you that I'm ditzy, flirty, and cute

I will do this by twirling my hair and secretly flipping you off

I hope I've convinced you I'm every girl you want

But I still don't get why you consider me a "Tool of the corporation" because I don't even know how to use a hammer?

What would she say?

2009-04-24T02:11:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the anniversary of my mother’s death. Many things have transpired since her passing. Every time this day comes I try to think of what my mother would say to me if she was still alive.

I remember when I was younger and I would be stuck in a bad situation she would ask me if I prayed about it. Truth be told it use to really make me mad. It felt like every time something horrible would happen she would want to remind me about God. I wasn’t a believer back then, not really. It use to make me so mad to think that there was suppose to be this loving God in heaven who cared about me but would let my life fall apart time after time after time. I kept demanding this god reveal himself to me. I would make the most ridiculous tests. I would do things like put a cup of water half sitting on a table. It would almost be at a point where it would fall and I would say “God if you exist please knock over that cup.” It would make me so sad because this god never once knocked over the cup.

One day I remember doing these stupid tests begging god, any god, to reveal themselves to me when something interesting happened. It’s hard to explain. It seemed to be like a voice, but not audible, more like a thought but foreign to my mind, telling me that if God did knock over that cup of water half-sitting on the table I would say “It was only because it was half on the table.” I realized that was true. A few weeks later when I was at an even worst point in my life and facing death, I felt this same experience again except it said ‘if you’re going to throw your life away why not give it to me and share in the riches of heaven.’ Out of mockery I accepted the challenge because I figured that would justify me blaming this god anytime something bad happened. I told this God that he could have my life and once it went to crap again, and it certainly would, it would be his fault. Boy has the table turned since then.

All this brings me back to my current thoughts. Since giving my life to this god many things have happened. Many good things and many dreadfully terrible things happened. One of the best things was that I was able to learn who this God is, btw if you don’t know his name is Jesus. Some of the bad things that happened was my mother’s death and many events that followed. With all the terrible things that followed my mother’s death I wonder what she would think. I read one letter my dad wrote ( a long time ago) saying basically that my mother would be mad at me and my oldest brother for how we’ve behaved and I’ve heard other gossiping busy bodies who would say the same thing.

I guess if my mother was still alive she would probably ask me the one question she always asked me..... ‘did you pray about it?’ Through all the good and bad I’ve learned that I always need to seek God’s will. I didn’t have the best relationship with my mother and I couldn’t say I learned about God at home; however I know she wanted me to know God the way she did. She did know however that she couldn’t force me to know God, or make me know God, or know God for me. I had to meet God on my own and follow Him on my own.

So in regards to all that has transpired since her passing I think she’d be ok with it, as long as I sought God’s will first. And anybody who would condemn me without love and without seeking God can go bugger off : - ). For I was saved by the living God. Though I am not a perfect man I know the one who lived a perfect life. Where he is I will one day be. His name is Jesus Christ, son of the living God!

The Dark Side Of Peace

2009-04-17T02:31:00.000-07:00

In life I often find myself in situations that are most uncomfortable. I normally try to ask myself two questions. The first is “what do I want.” By this I mean what would make me happy, what would satisfy my discomfort, what would make me feel ok. The second question is “what would make God happy.” I know sometimes the things that make me happy or satisfied are things that displease the Lord. Truth be told I wish I asked those questions in the reverse order… however I am just a man and I sin.

Usually with the first question I find the use of cursing, greed, yelling, aggression, prejudice, condemnation, or even an overall hatred to be the answer. When I think about that it seems to reveal who I am to myself. This is not the person I want to be. This is usually the person I want to do these things too. If I act to rashly, I will further my sin by actually performing one of these options. I have to work hard to stop myself from behaving this way. It’s so easy to do this and I truly wish it wasn’t that easy. I wish I didn’t find myself asking “what did you do now?”

With the second question I find myself moving slower. I usually find myself having to think harder to figure out what would please God. The answer isn’t always obvious. However sometimes the answer is so obvious it seems to hide right in front of my face. To be quite frank, sometimes I don’t know the answer. Then there are those times when I know the answer but I still don’t follow through. Those are the scariest to me. I should never allow others to intimidate me into disobedience towards God.

I think the problem is that my goals are mixed up. Even in the order of the questions. I should ask “what would please God;” and that should be the answer that satisfies the second question of “what would make me happy.”

Even sometimes I beg God to “save me from my fear” or “cause my agony to fade away.” Why don’t I ever learn? There is a dark side of peace. If God doesn’t tear me down then how can the old me die? I need it to die, I want it to die, but while it dies I try to save it. I have to learn to give it up. I need to allow the old self to pass away.

I know some people who do have a relatively easy or consistent life. Many of these people would even admit to their consistency or ease of life. Many of these people struggle so deeply to follow God. They are quick to deny God working in common things…unless of course God does something they want. Then they are practically prophets and seers reading stars and dust.

My faith is a little less mystical. I search for God in the common and the uncommon. I pray and ask and seek council and read and listen. After or while I’m doing these things I do this next step that seemed to always piss people off. The next step is I try.

If I ever suspect God might want me to do something I will go running towards that place until I hit a brick wall. Once I hit that brick wall I expect God to knock it down so I will keep running till it falls. However while I’m banging my head against the wall I will look for a sign that perhaps I missed. And by golly you better bet if I see a missed sign I will full forced run till I smack into another wall.

This method makes people angry. They want to tell me how to find God or rather god and even sometimes gods or more often yet, idols…. even more often than idols, idols of the person presenting the idol. They’ll often gossip behind my back and then claim they’ve sought counsel in my favor or they’ll get messages from God or they’ll point out my pride in not taking their wisdom.

Perhaps there is wisdom in not banging your head against a brick wall. However I suspect there is also wisdom in not getting out of a boat in the middle of a lake. But if you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat. So I might find myself with a sore head because I’ve banged it against a few brick walls… but I’ve also seen brick walls crumble to the ground. And truth be told, every brick wall that I was suppose to overcome became its strongest right before it fell. Our God is a mighty God.

If I search for peace with others I might find myself in a dark place. I can’t value peace over obedience. If I allow myself to be put into a deep sleep with glittering prizes or sell myself into slavery for fool’s gold then it will be my own fault. If I chose peace over truth then I not only fail myself, but I also fail those who came before me with truth, the truth itself, and God. Don’t give in to the dark side of peace. Don’t give in!

This is not to say I am perfect. This is not to say I don’t fail. This is to say that I even though I may find myself standing on the side of dreamers I also look around and see accomplished dreams. Anyone reading who finds themself in this istuation should take comfort. You’re not alone. Our God is a mighty God!

On the wagon tomorrow

2009-04-10T00:20:00.000-07:00

Ok everyone, this is not a clever blog entry at all. I have a stinkin confession. Fast food makes me sick. I’ve been trying to eat healthier for awhile now because I have to try and lose weight. Well I’ve been eating pretty healthy, exercising, and losing weight for awhile. So today I went to get some Fish and Chips from a local fast food place…. And now I feel so gross and sick.

I am not writing against fast food. I think fast food is awesome! But… this darn healthy dieting made my already low tolerance for fast food even lower. Even my beloved sodas just don’t taste good any more. It is a gosh darn travesty!

My cousin will be the one who will understand this entry the most. I realized today that fast food now just makes me sick. Even though I’ve been eating healthy for awhile, I have tried fast food a few times. Each time it made me sick. It wasn’t till today that I connected all the dots and my heart broke. I think by the time I get to the goal weight I will lose all ability to eat fast food.

Goodbye Fast Food

Goodbye, A&W, Arby’s, Burger King, Car’s Jr, Chick-fil-A, Chipotle, Del taco (*sobs*), Fazoli’s, In-N-Out, Island’s, Jack in the box, KFC, Long John Silver’s, McDonald’s (I rarely went here), Panda Express, Papa John’s, Papa Murphy’s Pizza, Sonic, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, White Castle, and Wienerschnitzel.

I’ll still try to go to the safer sandwich shops (Hogi Yogi, Subway, Quizno Subs) and of course Taco Jon’s … because it has my name in it.

My heart is broken. Celebrate fast food for me all of you fast food goers!

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry!

Little more than 100 Days

2009-04-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

So a few days ago I reached the 100 day mark with my wife. We have been married for a little over a hundred days so far. I thought maybe I’d share a few thoughts about marriage that I have learn in these few days I’ve been married.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that I’m still a sinner. I still desperately need Christ. I know that might sound like a given, but I think that before I got married I must have convinced myself that marriage would help me stop sinning. I’m still as wretched as before I was married. The difference now is that when I fail, I fail her too. It is a miserable thing too. Especially in light of how amazing she is. I know she’ll eventually come across this entry and deny it, but that only shows how awesome she is. She truly is gifted in numerous ways. Each day I get to see how awesome this adopted daughter of God behaves and how far away I am from where I need to be. However I also now have a natural accountability partner and someone to struggle with. I have someone who visibly forgives me for my failings. I have someone to remind me that my sins are not greater than God’s love. I have someone to share the load.

Marriage is such a wonderful thing. Thank God for it.

Another thing marriage has taught me is to value the things in life. One thing that could serve as an example is health. I desire to live a healthier life style that way if we have children they may learn healthy life habits. So I try to become healthy even though I don’t like exercise. In a matter of fact what I really hate is running. But the only thing I hate more than running is dieting. Yet I am doing all these things so I can be ready to serve God in whatever capacity he wants. I do them also that if God allows my wife and I to have children we might teach them healthy life styles.

Another example of something that marriage taught me could be family. When I was single it was easy to give rid of everything randomly. At that time it seemed like that was a holy way to live. As we’ve grown together I’ve learned that a lifestyle where you can abandon everything at will is more selfish than holy. Families deserve some sort of consistency and/or stability. Trying to be stable for a family is much more difficult than being flexible to your own desires. It’s humbling and yet gratifying. Even though my immediate family is small (my wife and I) I need to be strong for us.

Having this family also makes me think how blessed I am by God. I ask myself, ‘why has God been so merciful to me?’ I can only think its because of his abounding mercy and love. It is for his glory that I have these things. And I must honor for it. If one day for his glory these things are removed from me, I must still honor him for it. Receiving this gift of marriage from God has taught me so much about it. I couldn’t possibly think to write it all down yet.

Know this though. God is good. And his mercy endures forever. Amen.

Perspective

2009-03-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

I sit here and just find myself ashamed. Today I find my problems slammed into perspective. I was informed of a girl today who found out she has leukemia. I’ll just say she’s my friend’s sister and leave it at that. She is sitting in a ‘bone and blood disease’ wing of a hospital. She’s 18 years old and scared. Her family is also afraid. Her parent (yes one) is going to stop working to be able to continue taking her to the hospital. When I found this information I was dealing with college issues. The ‘issues’ I was dealing with instantly melted away. It all seemed so pointless. This young girl’s life has radically changed and everybody is afraid. I can’t even fathom how this will affect them. Even if she survives, this will have long lasting effects. There isn’t much I can say except pray for this girl. Remember her when you are thinking about your problems throughout these next couple months.

Please pray for this girl and her family. Her name is Jess. Ask God to have mercy on her and her family. Ask that God would bring a miraculous recovery. Thanks.

Please be my pilot

2009-03-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

God,

I am really frustrated right now. You know the countless reasons. I can’t even write them all down. You have given me and my wife a blessing and people are trying to turn it into a curse. I should expect adversity for following you. You are so lovable God, its hard not to love you. Sometimes these stupid little things blind my sight of you and focus my sight on pointless little problems. God please help me see you. If somebody asked me ‘how great a cost would I sacrifice for you’ my answer would be ‘all I have’. Yet when loved ones demean us it gets frustrating. I never doubt what direction we should go…but my emotions become burdened. Please help my emotions reflect the love you give me and not the hate others give me. God I am in this miserable world with all its plethora of problems. These problems are, for the most part, man made. Yet we look to men to fix them, it’s really quite stupid. Lord sometimes it is hard to focus on you. Please help me focus on you. What makes this all worse is that when people treat me or my loved ones horribly I often want to retaliate. If I wasn’t Christian I would retaliate. However, since I know that it would be displeasing to you I attempt not to retaliate. Sometimes my body goes on auto-pilot and gives in to sin but when the pilot comes back…well it’s not much better. Please become my pilot. God certain insults turn my stomach and I just want to set things right but I can’t do that. God only you can soften hearts. I beg you to soften hearts, mine especially. Please give me strength when I am weak. Jesus there is so much I need to apologize for and I can’t even think of them all. I want to apologize for becoming angry. I want to apologize for dwelling on my anger. I want to apologize for not putting people before myself. I want to apologize for my lack of patience. I want to apologize for mindless impulsive sins. I want to apologize for not being the best example of you. I want to apologize for being so foolish. I want to apologize for being so prideful. I want to apologize for leaving when I should stay, staying when I should leave, speaking when I should be silent, and for being silent when I should speak. You are an awesome God. You are known for your abundance of mercy. Many people who don’t even know the scriptures know that you forgive sins. God because you are so known for your forgiveness and mercy I ask you to forgive me. I ask that you make it right. I ask that you change my heart. I ask for your love and favor. Please continue to bless me even though I don’t deserve it. Please cause my mind to become aware of the blessings I take for granted. Please make me more like you that others might know of your greatness through me. Thank you for your attention and mercy. I love you. Amen

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T23:15:00.001-07:00

Today is the day that everybody gets to be Irish! So here’s a little trivia for you. Originally the meal of “Corn Beef and Cabbage” had Ham instead of Corn Beef. What happened was that when the Irish came to America they were poor and with their poor neighbors. These poor neighbors happen to be Jewish. When they would come together to eat the Jews couldn’t eat Ham so they brought Corn Beef. So the meal changed in America to Corn Beef and Cabbage.

By the way my computer has been down for a couple days. I had to format it and put my programs back on. I finally caught up.

About 200 Words

2009-03-14T04:00:00.000-07:00

So I decided that I wanted to take the “200 words” series in a different direction. Instead of talking about individuals for about 200 words and trying to explain their impact on my life, I think I’ll start writing about people in groups. Anyway that’s a heads up, plus I think I’ll limit the 200 words to about once a week.

Artist Interruption (80's Movies)

2009-03-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Alright this is going to be a strange Artist Interruption. I am going to write about a few movies made in the 80s. During the 80’s people had this ability to make really lame movies, but yet they are somehow awesome. Like you might not really like the movie but find yourself watching the whole thing. Some of the 80s movies are just legendarily awesome movies while other movies you almost hate to admit your enjoyment of them. I am going to put a list of movies up. If you have seen any of these movies the title alone will bring up a bunch of memories. If you read the list and find that you are unfamiliar with most of these movies then I’d say go rent some.

A Christmas Story (1983)

Abyss (1989)

Abyss is a really awesome movie. If you ever get the chance to watch the Director’s Edition if helps the movie make more sense.

Airplane (1980)

Akira (1988)

This is a pretty sweet anime. If you don’t like Anime you won’t like this but it is pretty sweet.

Aliens (1986)

Back to the Future (1985)

Batman (1989)

This is one of the greatest Batman’s ever! Watch it!

Big (1988)

Bill & Ted Excellent Adventure (1988)

Blade Runner (1982)

Blues Brothers (1980)

Blues Brotherrs is a great movie and it introduces you to some great music.

Caddy Shack (1980)

Dark Crystal (1982)

MUST SEE! I hear there is a part II on the way. I would wait in line for that!

Die Hard (1988)
John McClain is stinking awesome!

Empire Strikes Back (1988)

I tried not to put on sequels but this one is sweet!

ET (1982)

You have to watch this at least once in your life

Explorers (1985)

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

Watching it right now

Field of Dreams (1989)

Flight of the Navigator (1986)

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Ghostbusters (1984)

Glory (1989)

Gremlins (1984)

Howard the Duck (1986)

Jumping Jack Flash (1985)

Labyrinth (1986)

Last Star Fighter (1984)

Legend (1985)

Lethal Weapons (1987)

Little Monsters (1989)

Lost Boys (1986)

Never Ending Story (1984)

Still one of my favorite movies of all time!

Planes, Trains, and Automobile (1987)

Platoons (1985)

Poltergeist (1982)

Princess Bride (1987)

This movie has so many awesome lines to quote forever.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

Road Warrior (1982)

Robocop (1987)

Scrooged (1988)

Space Balls (1987)

This is a legendary comedy! Mel Brooks is a genius.

Space Camp (1986)

TAPS (1981)

Terminator (1984)

The Running Man (1987)

The Shinning (1980)

Throw Mama From The Train (1987)

Time Bandits (1981)

This movie is so odd. You’ve got to watch it at least once… it’s so random.

Top Gun (1986)

Tron (1986)

This will make you laugh now.

Twins (1988)

UHF (1989)

Uncle (1989)

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

I’ve recently been introduced to this love story. It took me awhile to see Billy Crystal in a romance but it was pretty good.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

Willow (1988).

There are so many more movies I could list but then it would be too long. Anywho happy hunting.

About 200 words on Andy

2009-03-08T03:00:00.000-07:00

Andy is one of my most fascinating friends. He has taught me so much. There are few in my life who I would consider a mentor. If he knows it or not Andy is definitely on that list. We come from two different worlds and met at a strange place at a strange time. Those who know what that means will know and those who don’t can ask ;-). But for safety sake that is all I will say about that. God has used Andy to keep focus during rough times. Often during trials it seems as if the enemy will do his best to sneak in and make a confusing situation more confusing. In these situations Andy would have this amazing ability to just flat line all the junk and reveal the real issue. God has made him a gifted counselor. I’ve also watched Andy stand up and demonstrated true nobility by carefully but clearly countering a lie, even by those who would consider him there lesser. I could go on and on about the awesomeness of Andy but then he might develop pride if he ever stumbles across my page.

Andy has influenced me the most with his personal piety. I’m not saying Andy is perfect or sinless but I’ve seen him strive for holiness. I want to make holiness and piety as crucial as it is for Andy in my own life.

About 200 words on McCormick

2009-03-06T04:00:00.000-08:00

I have friend named McCormick. He is a really interesting guy. Like a few of the other people I have spoken about I met him in college. God has used McCormick many ways in my life. God used him to teach me the truth about denominations; which was essentially that they are not evil Christ splitting factions. God used McCormick to motivate my urge to share the gospel. Many people around me at the time I met McCormick were against sharing the gospel professionally because they said it was a waste of time. He demonstrated that it was honorable to professionally share the gospel. He is such an honorable man. He was even the minister who ordained my wedding. McCormick and I have many of the same goals in life. Though we may take different paths to get to our goal’s end I hope God will always intertwine our lives.

McCormick has influenced me with his passion to share the gospel. I have seen this man seek many places to share this great news we have. I have seen his passion in preparing to speak. I have seen his passion to share by his consistency in teaching. I have learned a lot from him about the gospel and I hope I can teach others the way he taught me.

About 200 words on Kimie

2009-03-04T04:00:00.000-08:00

Kimie has been a terrific friend. We met through a mission trip and relevant training. There are many thing I could say about Kimie but what I really want to talk about is her friendship. See during this mission trip I had a lot of things, negative and positive…but mostly negative, that kept me a bit flakey (<-Understatement). Often I was late to meetings or I would forget or something horrible would happen and I would be absent. There was plenty of reason for the team to politely ask me to leave the group. To their honor they never did. They were extremely understanding even though I kept most of them in the dark, out of fear of burdening them with my problems. Kimie was definitely leading the way with their kindness. She would encourage me and text me and just let me know that I was ok and that she cared. Even now as I am writing this about her she has texted me just to say hi. I know that most likely I will not always be in a position that I can see her or communicate with her but I love her as a friend. God has used her to reach down and touch my heart.

Kimie has influenced me the most with her active friendship. She never let me feel like an outcast even when I seemed to be alone. Her ability to actively pursue friendship is something I admire about her. I hope that I can actively pursue my friends and love them the way she has loved me.

About 200 words on Sheila

2009-03-02T04:00:00.000-08:00

Sheila has been an interesting friend for a long time. We are the type of friends who don’t talk for ages and when we are able to talk again it is as if we were never absent. We met in high school our freshman year. We had a very rocky relationship. At times we were best of friends and at other times we were the worst of enemies. I think what helped us out is that my oldest brother and her older sister were really good friends. That is what helped us get along very well. Oddly enough though I don’t think we ever had friends in high school that like the other… that was confusing so let me re-word that. In high school Sheila’s friends didn’t really like me and my friends didn’t really like her. Now I’m not saying that we all hated each other but we didn’t all hang out. Regardless of this Sheila and I have been friends. We’ve experienced many things together and even though we haven’t seen each other in years we’re still good friends.

Sheila has influenced me with her endurance. I’ve seen her go through many trials throughout her life. Yet somehow she has remained herself through them all. I hope that I can endure trials the way she has.

Yay my wife is awesome!

2009-03-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

So recently the final phases of my wife’s name change, to include her NEW last name (mine), has finally ended. It took us awhile to get everything done because we had a few instances of misinformation and a few patches of procrastination. However it’s finally done.

The interesting thing is that now that she has my last name I feel more pride in my name. I feel like I have a reason to feel proud of this name. She is such an amazing woman and I feel honored to share a name with her. I feel pride in that. I also feel a duty to honor the name. I feel obligated to try my best to cultivate a good reputation for our name.

I guess it’s partially because it’s not just mine. I share it with someone extremely important (I know many people are going to hate that statement, hehe). I’ve shared it with other people before, but I brought it to this person so I feel more responsible to make it better for her. And I will do my best.

Anyway this is a short message to say “Yay my wife is awesome!”

So……

Yay my wife is awesome!

About 200 words on Hines

2009-02-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

Hines is one of my friends I met during college. We’ve never got to have a class together but we’ve gotten to have many discussions on a variety of subjects with a variety of groups. He is an excellent writer and thinker. He has a unique personality but that is one of the many charming aspects to his personality. He has an eye for perfection. He is one of the best editors I know. There have been many hardships in his life but he has used these to learn and to grow. This will continue to make him an incredible individual. He is also an outstanding Christian. Even when he doubts, he doubts in truth. When he seeks, he seeks in truth. He is a sinner like the rest of us but when he receives understanding he tries to behave accordingly. He is a brilliant gentlemen and I’m excited to see his future.

Hines has been really influential with his ability to question what he believes. He tries not to take any of his beliefs for granted. He carefully scrutinizes his beliefs. That is one of the reasons he is and will continue to be one of the strongest believers I know. I admire that about him. I hope I can scrutinize my beliefs the way he does. All Christians are called to test their beliefs and Hines is definitely one who obeys that command.

About 200 words on Eva

2009-02-26T04:30:00.000-08:00

Eva has been a great friend for about 5-6 years. I first met her when we worked for an afterschool program together. We had great times and I learned a lot about children during that time. I continued to be blessed with Eva’s friendship throughout college, where we suffered together in many ways. We got to work together after the afterschool program at the tutoring center at our college. Eva is honestly probably one of the sweetest and kind ladies I know. She is so loving in many many ways. She even worked for an animal shelter after college. After that she started pursuing a career as a victim rights advocate. I am being vague purposely to protect her from whatever harm might come to someone in her profession. This is all to say Eva is one of the greatest girls I know

Eva has been influential girl in many ways. I’ve gotten to see her love for children first hand. She values the preciousness of children that God has bestowed upon them. She has a love for all people but you really see her love shine with people who need extra love; sadly to say that is usually children. I do not know where God will put Eva or what He will have her doing… but I do know that wherever she is people around her will need extra love and she will be the right person for the job.

About 200 words on Sus

2009-02-24T04:30:00.000-08:00

Sus is another one of my sister-in-laws. She is a really fun person. Like her sisters she is a dancer. One thing that is really awesome about Sus is here ability to be who she is at all times. She is a really sweet gal. We’ve gotten to play video games together and ride bikes together. She has learned from her mother and has become an excellent cook as well. I think my favorite thing she makes, so far, has been peanut butter scotchies or something like that. She has a really blunt personality and can be extremely feisty at times but she is lovable all the same.

Sus is influential with her ability to be corrected. Sometimes she is really feisty and doesn’t listen to correction but I have also seen her really think about correction that is given to her. I’ve also seen her change behavior based on correction. I hope this is a skill she carries on throughout her life. She has so much potential to become many things. At the rate she is going she shall become a sweet, respectable, and godly woman. Her future husband will be an extremely lucky guy to even know her.

About 200 words on Melanie

2009-02-22T04:00:00.000-08:00

Melanie is one of my sister-in-laws (one of four I think). She is such an amazing and wonderful person. She is my wife’s best friend. I have such a soft spot for her, I would be dead if she knew it. For example, there was one time my friend and I was over at her house and everyone started playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). If you know me you know I am not a very physical person. Well I wasn’t going to play and people were trying to get me to do it but I am good at saying no to peer pressure. However once Melanie came over and said “come on Jon be a good sport” I found myself getting up to play stinking DDR. *grumbles* She is such an amazing person and I trust her so much. One of her big things right now is dance. She is such a talented dancer. Even though my wife is my favorite dancer Melanie is a clear second. She is very thoughtful and deep and you can see that in everything she does. She recently started college and you can see her thoughtfulness in all her work already. Whoever will marry her one day will be a very lucky man…who will have to get through me >:-) (mwa ha haa)

Melanie has influenced me the most with her straight forwardness. If you need a straight answer she will be very clear with you. This isn’t to say she doesn’t use tact, because she does an exceptionally well job with tact. However, she is very clear and to the point. I really appreciate that about her. I am slowly (VERY SLOWLY) trying to be more straight forward with people… because I have the habit to joke around all the time, and I do mean ALL the time. Anyway I am learning.

About 200 words on Monica

2009-02-20T04:00:00.000-08:00

Monica is my mother-in-law. She is your typical full time teacher, cooker, cleaner, seamstress, organizer, driver, emotional supporter, and a plethora of other extremely taxing thankless (because they are not thanked, not because they don’t deserve thanks) jobs that get put on her shoulders. Administration is definitely her gift. She has such a mind for logistics. Often in life people come up with ideas and forget that it takes a whole lot of work to make ideas come true. Monica sees a situation and can see the nuts and bolts behind it. She basically did everything for the wedding between my wife and I. She has an eye for detail. She is also an amazing cook… seriously. I have discovered new foods at her place and I have NEVER EVER had anything I didn’t like. She is such an awesome cook. I am really lucky too because sometimes, often, they give us leftovers and all the extra food other people didn’t like. She is such a big influence on her daughters. I know that many of the qualities of my wife that I love have been instilled by Monica. I am blessed to have a mother-in-law like her.

Monica has influenced me the most with her honesty. She is not a person who likes to be two-faced. I admire that. I can trust that what I hear from her is her true opinion. I’ve never questioned what she really meant… at least I can’t think of a time. Also she has influenced me with her hospitality. She has made me and my friends feel welcomed in her home. I am very excited that my kids will have a grandmother like her one day.

About 200 words on Robert

2009-02-18T04:00:00.000-08:00

Robert is my father-in-law. He works as a Peace Officer for a Law Enforcement Agency in the United States. I am trying to be vague on purpose. Despite being a father-in-law who is able to wield more weapons than I could even imagine to see he is a great guy. He has been so encouraging. He is a really spiritually minded person and open to learn new things. He’s addicted to tennis and his family; although which comes first I don’t know.... just kidding …. it is tennis…. just kidding ;-)!!! My wife sometimes tells me that I am very much like Robert and I take that as a compliment. He is really funny and an extremely hard worker. He provides for his family and cares so much about their happiness. I honestly don’t know why he would put up with a guy like me let alone be nice to m, but he does. He is so proud of his daughters and God has blessed him with an amazing family.

Robert has influenced me the most by trusting God in every circumstance. When I asked his permission to propose to my wife we mainly talked about the spiritual consequences on the situation. I know that having his first daughter get married wasn’t easy for him but he was still giving his all for her and for me. He has been such a blessing and I hope one day I can be a father like him.

About 200 words on Jake

2009-02-16T04:30:00.000-08:00

This is another really hard one to write only 200 words about. Like Corey, Jake and I have been friends for a little more than 12 years now. He has been a great friend and has been very giving. While I was in college it always seemed like I was broke and he was helping me out. When we’d hang out he would normally pay my side of whatever we were doing. We did switch back and forth but he definitely gave the most. He spent the last four years in the Marine Corp and even did a tour in Iraq. I’ve always admire his ability to get done what he needed to get done. I know things are not going perfect for him right now, sinking economy isn’t the best time to get out of the military, but I know he’ll be able to pull back out. If you have a moment please say a prayer for Jake. He has been like a brother to me and was even the Best Man at my wedding. Jake has the ability to make people love him instantly. There have been many families who’ve unofficially adopted Jake as one of their own. He is a very lovable guy and I hope things go well for him.

Jake has influenced me the most by being a good friend. He taught me the overall value of friendship. He has shown me that sometimes shallow chit-chat is important because it makes people feel comfortable to really open up. Jake is really skilled with people and I hope I learn a bit from him.

About 200 words on Corey

2009-02-13T11:09:00.000-08:00

I have this friend Corey. We’ve been friends for about 12 years or so. More or less we’ve grown up together. He is a really interesting guy. He is extremely artistic and cleaver. He is an excellent artist and can draw very well. It has been very interesting growing up with Corey and seeing him change and develop, as I am sure he’d say the same thing about me. He has been a really good friend and has helped me in many situations. Recently there was this time when I basically was homeless for a few months and he let me live with him in a one room apartment. He allowed me to stay with him and never once made me feel bad about it. Corey is a good friend and has been such a blessing.

There are two areas where Corey influences me the most. The first area that he has influenced me is to stand up for myself when needed, because there are time when a person should stand up for them self. The second area that Corey influences me is his loyalty. Like I said we’ve been friends for 12 years and it hasn’t always been easy. At times one of us would be a little darker or absent while the other wasn’t. Also there were times where one of us would be a giver and the other a taker. But we’ve stuck it out for 12 years and hopefully we’ll be friends till we die.

About 200 words on Bry

2009-02-08T21:14:00.001-08:00

Bry is such an awesome person. She is really laid back and brilliant. I was able to meet her in college and we really hit it off. She is hilarious and was able to go back and forth with the jokes like a season veteran. We spent so much of our time in school just cracking jokes and encouraging each other to keep going. Even though we spent a lot of time cracking jokes I would say that she is still one of the more brilliant girls I know. Bry is also one of the godliest women I know too. God will use her brilliance to enrich the lives of many people till she dies. She can’t help but be helpful. If she tried not to be a blessing she would fail miserably. I have so much respect for Bry. She helped me find humor even when we were having a difficult time in school, especially with certain students (and she’ll know what I’m talking about).

It is hard to say where Bry has influenced me the most. I think Bry has influenced me the most by helping me feel ok with being myself, even when I don’t take things as seriously as other people. Bry is an amazing person and will continue to be a spiritually strong woman. Bry will bless the lives of all she is able to interact with.

About 200 words on Alex

2009-02-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

Alex has been more like a friend and brother rather than a cousin. He is a fascinating person. He is always willing to explore new places and try new things. He is really deep and considers the meaning behind most everything he does. He is one of the most intelligent people I know. I would put him on par with most graduates I went to school with. If there was a debate I know he would have thoroughly thought out his side and is usually correct, even though we can’t be correct all the time.

Alex does enjoy to push buttons of people who are being shallow or two-face. I’ve always enjoyed the shows that result from his button pushing. We’ve been kicked out of several places because of it, but it is normally pretty funny and well deserved. Even though Alex challenges authority he is one of the most compassionate and caring people I know. He is one of the godliest men I know. He would give anything to help anyone. He has helped me in many of my darkest situations when nobody else would. He has such a heart to serve God and to find meaning behind what he does. He is also one of the hardest working people I know.

Alex has influenced me the most by being strong enough to stand up for his beliefs regardless of what people may think, including those closest to him. He has demonstrated the value of doing what is right to honor God over doing what makes you most popular. There are many challenges and obstacles in his life but he will always tread onward. Alex is awesome ;-).

Artist Interruption (Poetry Types)

2009-02-03T22:55:00.001-08:00

Ok for this Artist Interruption is going to be different. One of my favorite types of literature is poetry. I am sure I had mentioned this before. Anyway there are a few types of poetry that I think often get over looked. The three types I am going to talk about are Jisei, Erotic, and what I call “Sacred”.

Jisei

Jisei is a form of Japanese poetry. This type of poetry is also known as a Death Poem. The concept is that before a person’s last breath they write (or recite and somebody else writes down) a poem that reflects on death itself or the summation of their life. I don’t know the technical construction of these types of poems but often they are about nature or an important aspect of their life. My favorites are the kind of funny ones. Here are a few…

This poem was attributed to Yamazaki Sokan.

Should someone ask
where Sokan went,
just say,
“He had some business
In the other world”

This poem was attributed to Moriya Sen’an

Bury me when I die
beneath a wine barrel
in a tavern.
With luck
the cask will leak.

This poem was attributed to Morikawa Kyoriku

Till now I thought
that death befell
the untalented alone.
If those with talent, too, must die
surely they make a better manure?

Erotic

Erotic poetry might seem like a strange type of poetry for me to suggest. I happen to stumble across a book once and it was actually very interesting. Often these poems aren’t as bad as you might think. They sometimes are crude but sometimes that adds to the unique expression of love. Anyway let me just pick a few out.

This poem was attributed to Asklepiados (320 BC)

Think how unspeakably sweet
the taste of snow at midsummer,
how sweet a kind spring breeze
after the gales of winter

But as we all discover,
nothing’s quite as sweet
as one large cloak
wrapped around two lovers

Upon the Nipples of Julia’s Breast by Robert Herrick

Have ye beheld (with much delight)
A red rose peeping through a white?
Or else a cherry (double grac’d)
Within a lily? Centre plac’d?
Or ever mark’d the pretty beam,
A strawberry shows, half drown’d in cream?
Or seen rich rubies blushing through
A pure smooth pearly, and orient too?
So like this, nay all the rest,
Is each neat niplet of her breast

This poem was attributed to Otomo no Yakamochi

When my wife left home,
nothing at all could hold her.
Now she lies hidden
in the heart of the mountain
where my heart wanders alone

This poem was attributed to Bihari

When I found her in the bathing pool,
my footstep startled her—she crouched
to hide her breasts and glanced about.
Seeing no one else, her smile was shy.

Sacred

I call this section “Sacred Poems.” This section is harder to define. Basically these are poems about God. I really like poetry about God (or a god) because it shows a unique view of life.

Rabia of Basra “It works”

Would you come if someone called you
by the wrong name?

I wept, because for years He did not enter my arms,
then one night I was told a
secrete:

Perhaps the name you call God is
not really His, maybe it
is just an
alias.

I thought about this, and came up with a pet name
for my Beloved I never mention
to others.

All I can say is –
It works

St Francis of Assisi (Francis Bernardone) “He Asked For Charity”

God came to my house and asked for charity.
And I fell on my knees and
cried, “Beloved,

what may I
give?”

“Just love,” He said.
“Just love.”

Rumi “With Passion”

With
passion pray. With
passion work. With passion make love.
With passion eat and drink and dance and play.
Why look like a dead fish
In this ocean
of
God?

Anyway I like these poems and some poems like this. Please enjoy and remember to read and keep this art alive!!!

About 200 words on Sarah

2009-02-02T19:23:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law Sarah is definitely one of the bravest girls I know. In an age where female independence is defined as defiantly countering male intent rather than personal individual productivity she has remained loyal to her husband, my brother. She has sacrificed so much because she deeply loves her family. I know my brother hasn’t been the easiest person to live with, neither am I, but she has done an outstanding job with him. She selflessly stays with him while he serves our country abroad. This is not an easy task, nor one that everybody can handle, but she has trudged through it for a long time. He can only make this sacrifice because she gives him the strength to do it. Without her he is nothing. Also she is very loving with her daughter. You can see the wonderment she has for her daughter in the many photos she takes. In an age where abortion is a celebrated practice of “female rights” Sarah has faithfully been a great steward of the gift God gave her (her child).

All this doesn’t mean this is easy for her to do. I am sure there are many tears throughout her suffering. There are probably many bouts with depression or some sort of emotional struggle that I am not even aware of. However this is why I am so impressed by her. Sarah has sacrificed so much and will never be able to get the full recognition (in this life) of all her work. I am influenced by this because it reminds me that I have to serve others, and in particular my own family, the way she does. Another note I’d like to add, as I cross my 200 words boundary again, is that Sarah has made my wife feel so welcomed even though she has never actually met her yet. My wife and I eagerly await the day when the four of us can actually hang out together. That is just one more note to show how Sarah is so very awesome. She has influenced me with her selflessness and I hope I can mirror even part of that for my own family one day. There is so much more I would like to say but I am way past my limit.

About 200 words on Michael

2009-01-29T13:55:00.000-08:00

Michael is an interesting character. God has used him to reach many different people who would have commonly be forgotten or ignored, myself included. I remember one time when I was really young Michael read to me Pilgrim’s Progress. It was a modern rendition of the story but still true to the message. He has had such a heart to introduce people to the Lord. One thing about Michael that is really unique and has influenced me greatly is his ability to challenge and break the cultural stereotypes placed around Christianity. He allows for the expression of culture in the faith and yet does his best to clarify the differences between cultural expression and required change. Perhaps at times he goes too far but then again he is the first to declare his own brokenness and his own need for the very redemption he preaches about.

Another aspect of Michael that is awesome is his love for his family. He is so completely in love with his family. He would die for them. He would kill for them. He would give all he has excluding what God requires of him just to make their day better. He lives his life to honor God and encourages all to do likewise. He is a great man who will accomplish many great things.

Artist Interruption

2009-01-26T20:39:00.000-08:00

Ok I wanted to interrupt my people summary's with some music that I have been impressed with lately. Many of these video's are old and I have watched them again recently so I decided to put them up. These aren't all the ones I originally saw but close enough.

The first one is of a kid named Andrew Johnston (or something like that) and he is on Britain's Got Talent. In this video I am not most impressed with his music (which is awesome) but with his motivation. So enjoy.

This next one is of Bobby McFerrin. I was following this blog who was doing music reviews. This person loves Jazz and McFerrin was his artist of the month for two pieces. This one is my favorite but the other is very good. So enjoy.

Truth be told this last one is probably my favorite of all. He seems like the wrong guy doing the wrong job so gosh darn well. Honestly I think many of us can see ourselves in him, at least I can. This is Paul Potts (I think its Potts) and he is also on Britain's Got Talent. Fantastic voice. Please enjoy

PS. Josh Groban eat your heart out

About 200 words on Alicia

2009-01-25T20:49:00.000-08:00

With this entry I want to write about 200 words on my wife. She is one of the godliest women I know. She has influenced me in many ways. She has helped me appreciate a different side of life. She has taught me that it is ok to smile and be happy. Seeing her desire for righteousness and holiness has encouraged me to seek after the Father with the same passion. Her appreciation of nature has helped me view God from different angles. She has such a heart for the Lord and eagerly finds way to serve Him.

She is also one of the most intelligent girls I have ever met. She graduated with her Bachelor’s of Arts in Christian Behavior Science early. My wife is a diligent worker in everything she does and her outstanding grades only reflect one aspect of that. At work her children adore her almost as much as she adores them, which is a whole heck of a lot.

Besides being completely drop dead gorgeous, she is the most kind and caring girl I’ve ever met. She is so forgiving of my many many shortcomings and failures. She has stuck through many problems with me. When we first started dating I had a bad week of dental problems (8 cavities, 1 root canal, and four wisdom teeth pulled out). Later when I proposed I actually had to leave 2 days afterwards for a mission trip. Then I was gone for a few weeks. When I returned I got shingles and couldn’t touch her for a month. Now that we’re married I can’t find work and she has kindly stuck in there with me helping me seek employment and God’s calling. She is so patient and king with me.

I am so blessed that God would give such a sinner like myself an angelic bride of this caliber. She is continually helping refine me into a better person and I appreciate her for it.

About 200 words about Jesus

2009-01-24T12:53:00.000-08:00

I was reflecting on who I am and who I have become and decided that there are so many people I needed to be thankful for. Many of these people I’d never be able to say these words too so I decided that I wanted to write a post about them instead. I want to write about 200 words just highlighting who this person is and how they changed my life.

I chose a hard one to only write 200 words about. The most influential person in my life is Jesus Christ. His example is what has influenced me the most. He was a king who left the greatest place in all existence to come down to the slums to find the filthiest, foul, polluted people, of which I am near the top of the list, and purify them. He was treated unfairly by those who hated him and by those who loved him. He was betrayed and denied by his closest friends and then was executed on the behalf of all people.

He was an alien to our world, not because he was foreign but because he was rejected. Still he persisted. While here he healed the sick and fed the hungry and taught us how to love. He gave all he had for the world. After he left many started spreading lies about him and misrepresenting him at an exponential rate. People have wrongly hurt others in his name. Others have lied about who he is to make all people feel justified about their evil. He gave his life to give all people a free gift and many don’t even think he exists. And yet he still gently calls them and forgives them. He defeated death and brings life to those who would take it. He is the King.

Jesus has greatly influenced me because he has given me the ability to see my evil and it makes me mourn. Jesus has greatly influenced me because he freed me from my guilt and it brings me joy. Jesus has greatly influenced me because he gave me hope to be reconciled and it causes me to forgive. Jesus has greatly influenced me because he has been with me through all my sufferings and has given me all my treasures, to which there is no end, and it causes me to love. Jesus has changed my life by asking for it… and given me reason to give it. I want to be like Jesus.

(332 words)

And they call Evil Good and Good Evil

2009-01-23T10:53:00.000-08:00

20Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter!
21Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
and shrewd in their own sight!
22Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine,
and valiant men in mixing strong drink,
23who acquit the guilty for a bribe,
and deprive the innocent of his right!

24Therefore, as the tongue of fire devours the stubble,
and as dry grass sinks down in the flame,
so their root will be as rottenness,
and their blossom go up like dust;
for they have rejected the law of the LORD of hosts,
and have despised the word of the Holy One of Israel.
25Therefore the anger of the LORD was kindled against his people,
and he stretched out his hand against them and struck them,
and the mountains quaked;
and their corpses were as refuse
in the midst of the streets.
For all this his anger has not turned away,
and his hand is stretched out still.

Isaiah 5

Thanks

2009-01-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

In a world that has fallen
Pulling me down on each side
I want to take a moment
To thank God for my Bride

She is more than I could want
More than I could expect
Even though I’m greatly broken
She still showers me with respect

Grace upon Grace you’ve shown me
While I’m still darkened with sin
Yet in spite of my continuous failures
You still placed my punishment on Him

Lord, nothing can describe
The treasures poured from above
If it told me one thing though
It told me that you are Love

God without these gifts
Received throughout my life
You would still be awesome
Even if I had no wife

So I thank you for the extra
The things greater than pearl
But I want to thank you most
For giving us the light of the world

We who were blind now have hope
Because He paid the price
Thank you God for your son
Thank you for Jesus Christ

Amen

Carry the death of Jesus and the life of Jesus

2009-01-10T18:32:00.000-08:00

Ok so I wanted to write a blog about marriage but I feel like anything I would have to say wouldn’t really be that important because I am still a newlywed and everything is still cute and fun. We really haven’t gone through the same battles many seasoned veteran married couples have yet. Instead I think I’d rather write about God because I’ve been learning more things about Him, especially in light of the marriage.

Several times today I’ve been hit with this verse (which I’ll share in a second) about carrying with us the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus might be made manifested in our bodies. When they talk about carrying the death of Jesus they mean the sacrifice He went through and when they talk about carrying the life of Jesus they mean like His behavior; specifically that I should behave how He would behave if I was Him (hopefully that wasn’t too confusing). Many times in my blogs you’ll hear stories, hopefully at least a little bit funny, about the many misfortunes that fall on my head constantly. Among my circle of friends I am known for having things go wrong. I am the Murphy of Murphy’s law. One time my friend’s grandmother (known as “Nana”) told my buddy to tell me that maybe I should worship another god because of all my bad luck that she witnessed (she didn’t mean it in a negative way; she just felt bad for me). My cousin even told me once that he was excited to come to the wedding because he knew something ‘exciting’ (uniquely bad) would happen (and there were a few things that did). So here is the verse

1 Corinthians 4: 7-11

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

This verse makes a lot more sense to me now. Even though misfortune falls on me I am not a misfortunate one. I am blessed beyond belief. I have so many things just given to me. I could never consider my life uniquely miserable because anytime something ‘bad’ happens it opens the flood gates for a great movement of grace. These friends of mine who get to watch the horrors strike from all angles also get to watch the awesomeness of what overcomes the horror. What is even more awesome is that the things that overcome the horror are so magnificent that nobody could really ever think it was my work. Let me give you a few examples without going into all the detail because each one is a story in and of itself. In high school I was both kicked out and graduated early. I never had any money for college but was able to go to a private college which was like 20k a semester. In college my school dropped my degree and two years later I still graduated with that degree (the only person to do that) and actually got another degree as well. Every single time I’ve had to move I’ve done it with less money and yet had a higher living standard. I could go on and on and on. God is amazing. I’ve been afflicted with health and poverty but never crushed. I’ve been perplexed about what to do but never driven to despair. I’ve been persecuted but God has never forsaken me. I’ve been struck down, even by family, but not destroyed.

With all this said I want to try my best to live more like Christ. I want to focus more on living righteously and want my focus to be on pleasing God. I want to focus on pleasing Him the same way my wife looks forward to trying to please me. She gets so excited just to make dinner or something like that. I want to feel and act that way towards God. He is so amazing. He has given me so much and has done so much for me. He loves me more than I love my wife and I really really love her. He delights in us. While I sit in my apartment I look out the window and think about the people who live in this complex and I wonder why he would ever delight in me. I am nothing special and have nothing special to contribute. I want people to be able to see Jesus’ life manifested in my body. Specifically what I mean by that is I want people to see His spirit of love shine in me through giving and caring. Hopefully people will be able to see that glow in regards to my behavior with my wife specifically. I want to treat my wife as the new creation she is in Christ. I want to treat her the way God would.

I want to always carry the death of Jesus through my sacrifices and the life of Jesus through my behavior and specifically I want to do this always for Alicia. I guess that’s all I really have to say about marriage so far.

Ending of Crymunication

2008-12-12T16:43:00.000-08:00

There is many more example of Crymunication but I’ve spoken enough on this topic. These will be posted in their order and hopefully I will put a links of each on the top of each entry. If you are reading this blog and are completely confused go back about four blogs entitled “Crymunication.” It will all be made clear.

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

Thanks for your time. And remember that the thoughts and opinions expressed here are not necessarily the thoughts and opinions of Woad Warrior. This however is a message to cover himself in case of law suits. Woad Warrior does not necessarily agree to the thoughts he wrote about but expresses them for entertainment purposes only. Remember that Woad Warrior Loves women and has the highest respect for them. Thank you.

Example 3) of Crymunication – Process Overload

2008-12-12T16:34:00.000-08:00

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

In my opinion this is the most important Crymunication technique that guys need to understand. So listen really closely my brothers. You need to understand this one because this is when you are needed to be a man the most. So let me explain Crymunication – Process Overload.

So let’s say you’re having a conversation with a girl and all of a sudden she breaks down in tears. You can’t quite figure out why she is crying because you were talking about your favorite ice cream flavors. Your conversation wasn’t that bad, you thought. You’re trying to figure out why she is crying but she isn’t saying anything that makes sense. You hear something like this

“*sob*…*sob*…*sniff*….paper…*sniff*…*sob*…*sob*Ashlee...*sob*…time card*sob* *sob* *sniff*”

So let me translate what happened then I’ll translate the secrete message then I’ll help you understand what to do. First what happened. What happened here is that the girl you are currently speaking with is processing too much information at once about many topics. You’ve reached her breaking point, as defined in an earlier example of Crymunication, and now you are at the aftermath. This is why it doesn’t seem to make sense.

Secondly let me translate the message. Each barely understandable word is the topic point of one thing on her mind. So take out all the words you can understand. Paper, Ashlee, Time card. What you need to do now is to think of every possible meaning for each one and why she would cry about it. “Paper” could be many things. So what paper would make her cry? This could mean she is writing a paper and is having trouble, there could be a paper that is due (perhaps a bill or homework), or maybe even she needed a specific piece of a paper for something special she wanted to do. Ok so we have that word, we don’t understand it yet so we’ll move on. You know who Ashlee is in this scenario. (Let’s say she’s a friend at work). So either something happened to Ashlee, Ashlee did something mean, or some event occurred with Ashlee that is causing stress. “Time card”… this one is pretty straight forward… it’s her time card at work (mind you sometimes you can be wrong about the straight forward ones). *WARNING* DO NOT TRY TO COMBINE THE WORDS INTO ONE THOUGHT. Remember she is overloading so these are not one thought. So don’t say Ashlee lost the time card paper at work… you will be wrong and she will eat you alive. All you know is that there is a problem with some piece of paper, Ashlee, and a time card. You only have an idea. In some scenarios you will actually already know from prior conversations but all the same you only have an idea. Ok so now you have an idea of why she is crying now we have to figure out what to do.

Finally what to do. This is the most tricky and important part. In some scenarios you have to say nothing and other scenarios you have to say the right things. So how do you know when to do what? It’s a little more simple than you think. Let’s take it slow.

Step 1) Prod her
You need to figure out what to do, real quick. So start by gently, as gently as can be, asking her ‘what’s wrong.’ Now she’ll get mad, say ‘nothing,’ or cry more.

Step 2) Translations
Based on each of her responses there will be a different translation of the event. If she gets mad at you immediately she is angry and wants somebody to listen. If she says ‘nothing’ she IS mad at your or she thinks you are upset with her. If she cries more she wants to talk about it.

Step 3) Resolution.
If she gets mad you need to stop talking from that point on. Just listen and sympathize and remember she probably isn’t mad at you. The ending can go very well or very horrible for you. If you speak the anger will be directed at you for not understanding. If you say nothing you’ll be a great listener and sometimes rewarded and then you’ll thank God.

If she says “nothing” be afraid because she is upset with you or nervous that she has upset you. If it’s the latter just be really loving and let her know you love her, if she is mad at you just apologize because let’s face it… it is probably your fault.

If she starts crying worse and you get another coded message it means she wants to talk, so talk and take it slow. Once you finish talking it out she’ll be very happy and feel very loved, which should be your goal. It may take time but it is completely worth it. And you may be rewarded. You’ll thank God.

Example 2) of Crymunication –Cyclic Confirmation

2008-12-12T16:31:00.000-08:00

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

This is the most unique Crymunication technique of girls, which men will almost never ever understand. In this scenario a girl hasn’t cried in a long time, for whatever reason, and now she is going to cry. To guys this seems the most purposeless crying in the world. But there is a reason behind it. Now I classify it as the Cyclic Confirmation Crymunication Technique because this IS based on cycles. She felt she hasn’t cried in awhile and now she wants to cry. What will happen is that she will either become extremely sensitive until she finds something to cry about or someone to cry with or she will watch a chick flick and make herself cry, which truly is the importance of chick flicks.

I need to add a side note in here. Fellas, watch chick flicks with the girls in your life. It is important. It lets them get out a lot of emotional stress with you but not at you. Do yourself a favor and watch a few chick flicks and find out which plot you like best (because there is like 5) and rent, buy, and or watch those with the girls in your life.

Now many guys are probably thinking “why would they WANT to cry?!? That’s crazy!” and you’re probably saying “Woad Warrior please help me understand why they would WANT to cry.” Well since you’ve asked I will try to explain.

The reason girls WANT to cry is so that they can push back their breaking point. What does that mean you ponder? I’ll explain. As girls will say guys don’t multitask well, guys can say girls don’t let things go. What happens is that all this pressure, of not letting things go, builds up into a “Crymunication – Process Overload” (see next post). It builds up until they’ve reach their breaking point and they explode with tears and noise and oi vay. However the breaking point of a woman is an entirely flexible thing. It depends how much stress is going on in their life and what type of stress is going on in their life. At times girls will be the most frail and delicate of creatures and in the next moment they are tougher than an iron mace. Their Cyclic Confirmation Crymunication Technique allows them to dump some of the minor stress in their life which is not important enough to cry about or talk about in and of itself. If they dump this stress out they will have pushed back their breaking point.

So what do you do as a guy? Help them cry. Don’t be a jerk and make them cry! Making them cry and helping them cry is NOT the same thing. Help them cry by allowing them to feel comfortable crying in front of you. If need be rent that chick flick or just hold them and don’t speak or whatever the girl in your life needs of you. You are man; you are here to serve them. Do it.

Now again you might be asking yourself how is this truth. As I said earlier Crymunication is where women communicate the most truth. They are expressing, if only subconsciously, that they need to let things go so they can be stronger. It’s a very honest appraisal that which has no equal, as far as I can think of now, in the male realm.

Example 1 of Crymunication – Environmental Awareness

2008-12-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

This example is how women try to communicate that they are feeling sad in the environment they are in. So let’s say it’s the end of a school year or some sort of passing of time where these girls, or at least some, are going to part ways. Now they are feeling sad about this and perhaps nervous about the changes. Then it goes down like so… one girl will be saying goodbye to one of her closer friends and she’ll start crying, which of course will get that close friend to also start crying. Then girls around them will start crying because they feel it’s so sad/beautiful. Then girls who don’t really care will start crying because they kind of feel bad that they don’t care. Then girls who are feeling alone because they have no one to cry with will start crying. And finally girls with no clue what is going on will cry because everyone else is crying. All of this is to say that in their current area there is a lot of sadness; even if the sadness is almost irrelevant to them.

A great example of this is in the movies. I’m not saying guys don’t cry at the movies, they don’t cry at the movies though they just get allergies (j/k), what I am trying to say is that it’s more common for girls to cry the movies because of their ability to Crymunicate the sadness of their environment. Think of it like a lighthouse signaling you that you are near the shore. Their crying is trying to signal you that you are near sadness. This is the opposite with guys, who try, with all their might, not to cry in front of any other guy… ever. And if a guy does end up crying in front of another as long as there is a good reason neither will talk about it. However if there is a stupid reason, mockery might follow.

So what are guys suppose to do in this situation. Nothing. Don’t say a word. Be careful where you look but be double careful not to appear to be unaware of the situation. This is dangerous. Avoid this one. Sometimes it’s sweet and you just have to be there and say nothing while other times this might turn into anger and you’ll want to flee. Be careful, use judgment.

Now earlier I said girls Crymunicate to express truth. In this scenario they are expressing a true emotion of sadness. It’s not a secrete or factual sort of truth but they are compelled to express it. They are compelled to express this true. This is why Crymunication is a very beautiful thing.

Crymunication

2008-12-12T16:22:00.000-08:00

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

I love my fiancée so much. I am learning ssssoooo much about the female species and at the same time I am also learning so much about my own kind, the males. Our differences are so amazing, funny, truly gives us insight to each other. These differences aren’t bad either, they’re just different. For example as many of you know, and the few of you I want to hide it from can figure it out anyway so I’m not going to bother, I am getting married in a few days. One thing that cracks me up during this process is what people are concerned with. For example every time I tell one of my guy friends that I’m getting married on such and such day in December they all basically say something along the lines of “awesome” or “badass” (excuse my French please). Other guy friends might make whipping noises or do hand gestures describing a dog collar around the neck, but this is out of jealousy and is still their way to say congrats. However when I inform girls about the date, mind you they already did the screaming and the ‘awwww” when I told them about the wedding, but when I tell them about the date one of the first things that come out of their mouth is “it’s going to be cold.” It cracks me up every time. Even one of the first things my Grandmother said, who is a fascinating woman, was “I’m going to dress nice but I am bringing a jacket because it’s cold.” I have not once had a single guy tell me “it’s going to be cold” but I think I’m honestly at like 20 with women telling me it’s going to be cold. And I know I’ve had at least 3-4 full conversations about it, with women, being cold.

Now I know a lot of that is girls are trying to be mindful of how everybody is feeling, so please don’t take it as me ragging on them. I think it’s amazing. And at some point I’m sure I should have considered that it might be cold in December (even though this is So Cal). But I didn’t and neither did any of my guy friends. We were just collectively happy that one our kind (in this case me) was able to find a girl whose craziness was at a tolerable level… and to be quite honest her craziness is sometimes appealing.

And as the old male proverb goes ….. “The question is not IF she is crazy but HOW crazy is she!”

All of this is to get to my true point for writing this blog. I want to talk about another ability of women and pass this information on to my brothers, whom I want to call “the Remnant,” to show them what I’ve learned. I classified this ability as “Crymunication.” This is a very confusing yet truly important ability for guys to know. So I am going to break it down into a couple entries so you can understand this one step at a time. The basic concept behind Crymunication is how women express their true thoughts and feelings through different levels of crying. They communicate with us through crying; hence the classification of Crymunication. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to read more than you can understand at once. Process this one section at a time. Don’t be afraid either because this is a uniquely beautiful ability women have to cry out truth. Honestly guys if a girl is crying you can almost guaranty (minus few rare horrible exceptions, which I’ve experienced) that she is being completely honest.

Now before you continue reading know that a girl is not more or less girly/amazing/wonderful/beautiful by how much she does or does not Crymunicate. Some girls don’t do these often because they deal with things in different ways and some girls are going to get mad because I’ve pegged them completely. Either way they are uniquely beautiful and you’ll have to learn them and their personalities yourself.

It's not easy

2008-12-06T03:19:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have to tell a funny story. Sometimes in life things just crack me up. I find it so mind blowing how some people seem to get away with everything while other people can’t seem to get away with doing normal things without trouble.

For example an acquaintance of mine (to save their identity) got into her second car accident. Now unknowingly you might assume that this is the person who gets in trouble… but you would be wrong. Ok this is the second car accident my acquaintance has gotten into and has completely gotten away with. So here is the quick story. She was driving out to get some bread (seriously, I know) and while driving around the parking lot she ended up behind a motorcycle cop who had pulled someone over in front of her. So she waits a second and then decides to pass them. However she did not look and another car was coming out of one of the isle. So being quick in reflexes she tries to slam on the breaks………. however not being quick in accuracy (to say the least) she slammed on the gas instead. So she gases it into the truck’s passenger door. So both cars pull over and this acquaintance of mine comes out saying “I am so sorry I hit you.” The other driver’s vehicle was fine so they didn’t care too much but the driver wanted to switch information. Of course this acquaintance of mine doesn’t have their car insurance information or a pen or a pencil. Well eventually the cop comes over. Now this is the part of the story most people dread. HOWEVER for this acquaintance of mine the cop just kind pops his head in and says ‘ya’ll alright?’ and the OTHER DRIVER says that they are fine. And nobody is bothered that the acquaintance of mine is driving without proof of insurance or ownership. This acquaintance then goes home and tells her mother (who gave her the car) what had happen. . . . and nothing happens…. This is the second car accident this acquaintance of mine has gotten into and has a completely clean driving record… the series of sighs and comments I have exploding inside me I keep inside me incase this acquaintance reads this blog and takes it as me insulting them. I’m not… but if this person dies on the road I will feel bad for allowing them to drive.

Now let’s move on to the other person. This guy I know (me) decides he wants to take his friend to dinner because his friend has been helping him out. So this guy (me) finds about $15 in Subway Gift Cards. We go to Subway and before we even ordered I asked the employees if we could use the gift cards. After investigating my Gift Cards they inform me that they are totally valid and we can use them. We started ordering these 5 Dollar Sandwiches (which is a story in itself) and mine gets done first. As I am standing there at the end of the line getting ready to pay they decide that they are confused about my gift cards again. So I am standing their waiting and the cashier, who has completely read every word including the fine print, decides she wants to talk to the manager again. Once the cashier comes back she tells me that the sandwiches are going to be regular price. I inquire what exactly that meant since the price of the sandwich was five dollars. This cashier informs me that she is going to charge me like 6.11 for my sandwich even though it is clearly a $5 sandwich. I was already freaking out because if I was gonna pay that much for a sandwich I would have order a better sandwich. Astonished and starting to get shaken up that somebody is planning to stop my sandwich eating I ask her how much are our meals going to cost because we were making them combos. During this elongated pause of the cashier trying to calculate the incredible mathematical quandary of the price of two sandwiches and two drinks and chips, panic struck me and I said “well as long as it’s under $15 I guess it doesn’t really matter.” And I kid you not the cashier turns to me and says “it’s going to be 16.20.” Again my mind is completely blown wondering how two 5 dollar sandwiches, two drinks, and chips turned into 16 bucks! Now my buddy offered to pay and I’m like screw that I’ll walk away from these sandwiches before I pay for them. Eventually to make this long story slightly shorter the manager comes over and both the cashier and the manager gets into an all out brawl with the cash register only to be on par with two great Aikido Masters. Somehow by the direct hand of God they figure it out and I actually get some change back. I think I ended up getting like twenty-two cents but that’s twenty-two cents I didn’t have! It was a long story and I did end up coming out on top… but of course I can’t just got to a store with gift cards without making an issue.

This was all summed up when my buddy looks over to me as we walk out and says “I can’t take you anywhere.”

Deobjectification

2008-11-19T01:17:00.000-08:00

My fiancé is so special. I love her so much. She has such amazing qualities. She is so brilliant and sweet and everything. One of the things I like about her is that she is a very girly girl. I learn a lot about women though her. It is like a gateway into another universe. I mean she really is a girly girl. What I mean by that is that we have flowers and butterflies on everything! Even above my head as a type right now is a painting of flowers. We have flowers on picture frames and pillows and everything. And if there isn’t a flower, there is a butterfly, and I don’t mean one… I mean many. I suppose it’s not technically on everything… yet… but I have confidence in her flowering up abilities.

“Flowering Up” is an ability many girls receive at birth. See as a guy I have to figure these things out and share them with future guys. This is to help them out, although the future of males is a grim future. In our own time Man Law is disregarded. There are many factors to why this happens but never the less it happens. But I digress. Another ability I’d like to share with the remnants of men is the ability I have classified as “Deobjectification”. This is a term I made up to explain this… thing… girls do. It’s so interesting I had to name it. Girls often do this … thing … where they have items that are just for show. Now I don’t mean they have these items on display nor are these display-like items. Girls take ordinary objects and make it so you can’t use them.

For example, I have pillows on my bed. That seems fine and dandy except I have pillows on my bed not meant for sleeping on. In a matter of fact I am suppose to take the pillows off the bed when I go to sleep. More interesting yet, when I wake up in the morning…. I am supposed to put those very same pillows back on the bed. Get that! So they took the object and removed its purpose. “Deobjectification”

Another example, there are towels in the bathroom. Fine enough, yet I am not allowed to use those towels in the bathroom. These towels are sort of just for looking at. There is no story behind these towels, they could have been chosen at random. There is nothing special about these towels except perhaps some color pattern to the other non-touchable or deobjectified towels around them. I remember once when I got in trouble at my aunt’s house for using soap… that was not for using. I did not learn the secret of deobjectification yet.

After awhile of deobjectification it becomes a very nervous place. All over the house things become purposeless…. candles you can’t light, cushions you can’t sit on, dishes you dare not use, until one day when you are required to sit on plastic protected couches and chairs or you have to put little plastic booties of your shoes as you walk on the floor.

But I am not there yet. Neither is my bride to be. She allows me my space. I have a picture of a hand-sketched sniper scene a friend gave me on the wall. Also a picture of a Never Never Land story my brother bought me many years ago is on the wall with a dwarf smoking a pipe poster giving to me by my cousin. I even hear rumors that some of my medieval weaponry may find a place to be mounted on the wall. My fiancé is sweet and way too kind to me. And I love her.

The Table

2008-11-17T00:56:00.001-08:00

Ok so this is a funny story. I love my new family so much. They’re so kind and giving. It’s interesting how things work out. We come front very different backgrounds and sometimes when we’re (me and them) try to collectively figure things out we are so different in our approach. Sometimes (most time) they have a really good approach and it takes a few seconds (sometimes a longer time) for me to catch on and vice versa. But one of the things I love the most is that we’re honest and deal with the differences in a very friendly way.

The other day my fabulous fiancé was on craigslist.com (a website that all women seem to believe in) and order this awesome table. This started a debate, between my fiancé and her grandmother, whether the table was too big to fit in the room it was going into. So my fiancé and her grandmother started debating the length of this and that. This eventually led to the three of us standing around in a triangle-circle situation trying to guesstimate the size of the table. During this process I am trying not to laugh because the three of us are standing around holding hands trying to guess the size of our circle-triangle to guess the size the table might be to guess if it will fit in a room we also don’t know the size of… and to make it worst they are debating on it. I am dying trying not to laugh.

Well this led to a worst situation. The actual pick up of the table. I got my buddy Corey to come with me and we went to pick up the table. This was all bad. It was so bad I must just jump to the loading side of the story because during the driving part we must have went the wrong way 7 times (for funny reasons), cut off a cop (twice…the same cop), walked to up to the wrong house because their garage was open and then scared them a bit, just to get to the table. Once we finally got to this house the people were really nice. The table looked slightly different than the picture but it looked good. Oh one side note on the people that was interesting. When we got there they were going through baby clothes (they had three really young boys) but all the baby clothes were girl clothes… and they had a lot of it. Oh and of course Corey and I bring these sheets to cover the glass and it would have pictures of naked cartoon people laughing.

Anyway Corey and I get this table outside and we’re trying to figure out the best way to get this thing in his truck. We came up with and tried some of the worst methods possible. One method (which was the funniest) involved us leaning a huge glass table top against the cabin of the truck and rope coming in through our windows and me holding it tight. It was like a sleigh right but backwards. We did that for a few feet until I decided the freeway would throw the glass out. After a few shuffling and re-tying we got it moving, which again we got lost another time.

The table is in the room and it did fit. It’s an awesome table and my wonderful lady makes it look nice. It was just kinda funny.

Degree for me

2008-11-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

Today I actually received my Bachelor of Arts in Christian Studies. It has been done since July and officially ‘Posted’ since August 31st but today I actually have it in my hands (well now a frame). Anyway since I have it I decided to go back and read something I wrote back when I got my other degree.

“I got my cap and gown today. Corey and I went through all the signature and clearance stuff at the school today (technically yesterday 4-17-08). Any who as of May 2nd (I think) I am going to have a Bachelor's of Science in Information System Management. I am one class away from getting my Bachelor's of Arts in Christian Studies. I can't take that class until summer 09.
After this my next steps (as of now) is to get married and then go to Southwestern Seminary in Texas. While going to seminary I plan to join the Chaplain Candidate Program for the Army. After graduation from seminary (getting my MDiv) I plan to start a career in as a Chaplain. During the process I plan to continue my education and have Alicia continue hers.
Hopefully through out this stuff Alicia and I will have children (Alicia doing the worst part) if God Wills it. It will be challenging but I'm excited to see what God wants to do with our lives for the future. I hope to always serve him and fight myself to do His will and not mine.”

Its funny when I first wrote this I didn’t even have my degree. I late wrote another post after I received the actual degree.

There has been so much going on lately. I don't even know where to start. Busy busy busy. Anyway I have some big things I want to write in here later when I find the time. As for now find it sufficient to say that I now have a Bachelors of Science in Information System Management and hopefully by August I will have my Bachelors of Arts in Christian Studies.

When both are complete you will find me singing

"Na na na naaa, na na na naaa, hey hey hey good bye! Na na na naaa, na na na naaa, hey hey hey good bye!"

I was reading those two posts and thinking about where I am at as of now. So here is the situation as of now.

I’m still getting married and I actually have both degrees in my possession. The chaplain thing is getting pushed off for now because the documented requirements are extremely difficult. In turn this means the MDiv is getting pushed off for now since I don’t have money to pay for it. So as of now my options seem to be LAPD or Army Reserves, then ROTC, then four years active. I am going to pursue LAPD for as long as I can. I am worried about their physical requirements though. The physical requirements are really strenuous. Anyway if I am unable to do LAPD I’ll try to join the Army.

I’m kind of hoping for a third option… but I take what I can get ;-). Either way I still hope to be working for God’s glory and not mine. But you of the praying persuasion please feel free to beg for mercy, guidance, strength, and courage for me.

The little ant

2008-10-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

I watched this Ant today. I was going to kill it but I decided against it. He was an ordinary Ant nothing too special about him. He did seem to be a larger Ant though, perhaps little less than half an inch. Anyway I watched him crawl up the bathroom wall and it really made me think. This little Ant was about half an inch long (this is an over guestimation btw). The bathroom wall went up about 9ft. That means there are about 108 inches up that wall (9ft x 12inch). This means there are about 216 half inches (108inchs x 2) up the wall. That means that this little Ant was climbing up 216 times its body length. This completely blew my mind. I kept thinking. I am about 5’9” – 5’10” (can never keep it straight). For the sake of calculation let’s say 6ft (because is 2-3inches shy of that). So 12ft would equal my one inch. So 108inchs would equal 1296ft (108 x 12). Another way to calculate this is 432 yards. What was even more fascinating is that this little Ant climbed up this wall in under a minute. I was trying to think what it would look like if I climbed up 432yards in under a minute. Pretty freaky. I mean I couldn’t even run 432 yards in under a minute. At least I don’t think I could. I mean a normal football field is about 100 yards (of the playing field). So that means if I could run 432yards in under a minute that I could run almost 4 1/3 football fields in under a minute. That’s pretty crazy fast. Anyway as I was thinking this the little Ant climbed on the ceiling and was now crawling upside down and at the same speed!!! The calculations for this new scenario are insane. So I guess the moral of the story is thank God that ants are little and perhaps kill them while you can because they’re quick!

The God Who Wasn't There

2008-10-18T22:35:00.001-07:00

This post is about The God Who Wasn't There by Brian Flemming.

I was asked to watch this video because it would help me understand how everything about God is false.

Highlighted Parts
Part I Chapter I
Part II Chapter 4
Part IV Chapter 14

Overall I felt the movie was lame. Besides the complete lack of objectivity, evidence, and singularity the thesis was put together in the worst fashion. Anyway what follows is a chapter by chapter break down of the movie.

Part I
The Earth & The Sun (Chapter 1)
This is the opening chapter to the movie. In the very beginning Brian Flemming says that Christianity was ‘wrong about the solar system’ in the sense that ‘they’ (the Christians) said that the sun rotated around the earth. He then adds if they were wrong about the solar system what else are they wrong about. This is one of his most reasonable questions in the entire movie. However it is a really misleading question. Nowhere in the entire Bible does it say that the Sun rotates around the earth or that the earth was the center of the universe. That’s just silly.

Some people try to defend this falsehood by stating that the Catholic Church persecuted Galileo for his heliocentric (sun center solar system) views. First off Galileo was not the first person to come up with this theory. Aristarchus was one of the earliest Greek astronomers who hypothesized a stationary sun. His theory was rejected by Aristotle (yes THE Aristotle) and Ptolemy because of their geocentric (earth centered solar system) views. (Btw these two guys were not Christians). Later, about 1800 years later, a Polish astronomer named Nicolause Copernicus (a Roman Catholic) developed his mathematical presentation of the heliocentric view of the solar system. Later Johannes Kepler (A Lutheran) expanded and defended this view. Whom was eventually followed up by the Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei (another Roman Catholic). Now I am not saying that the Catholic Church did not persecute Galileo for his believes because they clearly did. What I am saying is that the Bible is not geocentric and that Christians have believed in heliocentrism before the Catholic Church recognized it.

Other people try to take passages from the Bible and misinterpret them. One example is Joshua 10 where it says the sun stood still. These people go ‘Look the sun stood still! Not the earth! Therefore Christians believe the earth is the center of the universe.’ However if these people read the actual text, instead of a blog about the text, they would see that the moon also stood still. The idea is that everything stood still. I say this because if you only have a problem with the sun standing still but not the moon… then you’re silly… or stupid… either or. Either way this still does not say that the earth is the center of the solar system.

However if you find a verse you believe says the earth is the center of the solar system please feel free to share.

Even if the Catholic Church denied helocentrism doesn’t that mean God doesn’t exist? No, but at least at this point his question would be more valid. If the Catholic Church was wrong about the center of the solar system what else might they be wrong about. That’s a good question. What else are they wrong about? However since the Bible never denied heliocentrism the question falls here. But we’ll move on.

Part II (Chapters 2-4)
I am still debating if I am going to do a chapter by chapter break down of this video. My main concern is that many of the chapters don’t actually say anything worth ‘refuting.’ Overall in what I call “Part II” he basically gives a caricature of Christians and Jesus. In these chapters he is mainly trying to push the ideas that Christians are evil and the early church never believed that Jesus existed on earth (misquoting Hebrews 8:4). Ok so let us begin with the chapter by chapter break down.

Faces of Christianity (Chapter 2)
This chapter doesn’t have much to talk about.

One thing that seemed really sad to me in this chapter was the opening here. He has images of Christians speaking in the background about Jesus and seeing them smile; then he says Christians are so happy when they talk about Jesus. Then he says ‘why are they so happy. I want to be this happy.’ It was really sad. However my sympathy goes right out the window with the next part. The next part he says ‘of course these are the only faces of Christianity’ in which he begins to throw in pictures of people who claimed to be a Christian or Jesus. These people of course for the most part are murders (including Charles Manson) or some overrated evangelical who he would then quote misleading text with their name.

Even though this part to me was one of the funniest in the movie. I still find it absurd. I would say that all but two listed as the ‘other faces of Christianity’ would be rejected by all Christendom. This section just seems to imply that Christians are evil deranged murders. As if atheists never commit crimes.

Story of Jesus (Chapter 3)
This chapter also doesn’t have much to say.

Basically at this point he tries to tell the story of Jesus’ life in less than 6mins. This was pretty funny too because the whole time in the background he has the most corniest (double comparative I know) video in the background. Even though I wouldn’t say that he lied about anything he certainly overplayed and underplayed certain facts to be funny, corny, and perhaps misleading. Some parts of the story weren’t correct but I don’t think it was intentional. For example most scholars do not believe the three magi arrived on the day of his birth. Not that that is a huge issue, there were just parts of his 6min version that was not entirely accurate.

What Happened Next (Chapter 4)
There is something to say here for sure! :-P

The next thing Brian Flemming does is ask people in the parking lot of the Billy Graham crusade how Christianity spread after Jesus. After they answer he claims that they are vague on the way they answered, which is completely debatable. I’m not sure what he was looking for out of them but after he is done with their answers he tells the ‘real version. He begins be saying that the gospels were all written based on the Gospel of Mark (which is another debatable issue, however I can understand his misunderstanding in regards to the Q). He then says that Mark was written after 70A.D. (this is another debatable issue, but I’ll agree with him for now). Then he basically said that there are 40years of unaccounted time (which he'll then account for). Then he says that in those 40yrs we get most information from Paul. Then he says (this is funny) that obviously Paul didn’t know about Jesus being a real person because Paul doesn’t talk about everything in the gospel. He said the only thing Paul mentions about Jesus was the Cross, Resurrection and the Ascension. Then he says Paul never places these things on earth.

Ok that was all bad. Most of what he says is completely debatable. But even if you agree with everything on his side of the debatable issues, he is still wrong in a few areas. He says that Paul didn’t mention anything about Jesus and the Gospels but that is a lie. Paul at least mentions the Baptism of Christ (Romans 6:4), the meeting with Pilate (1 Timothy 6:13), the Last Supper (1 Corinthians 10:16-17, 11:-17-34), and a few others. All of which Brian Flemming said was not in the text.

Now the biggest thing wrong here is not even all that. It is an incorrect quote of Hebrews 8:4. Brian Flemming did something funny to get that translation. Brian Flemming used the ONLY version that translates that verse in past tense. It is the “Bible in Basic English.” The was a translation of the Bible by Professor S.H. Hooke, which only uses 850 Basic English Words and 50 Bible words. If you think I’m lying look it up yourself.

http://scripturetext.com/hebrews/8-4.htm
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews%208:4%20;&version=31;

The verse is present tense. Every version except for the BBE makes present tense. The only reason the BBE didn’t make it present tense was because Professor Hooke limited the available vocabulary so people who barely understood English could read the text. Even the King James Version says “For if he were on earth, he should not be a priest, seeing that there are priests that offer gifts according to the law”. This is present tense. This is important because the context of Hebrews 8 is the exact opposite of what Brian Flemming says it is. The context of Hebrews 8 is that Jesus still lives and is working a ministry currently.

Here is Hebrews 8 in English Standard Version.

1Now the point in what we are saying is this: we have such a high priest, one who is seated at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in heaven, 2a minister in the holy places, in the true tent that the Lord set up, not man. 3For every high priest is appointed to offer gifts and sacrifices; thus it is necessary for this priest also to have something to offer. 4Now if he were on earth, he would not be a priest at all, since there are priests who offer gifts according to the law. 5They serve a copy and shadow of the heavenly things. For when Moses was about to erect the tent, he was instructed by God, saying, "See that you make everything according to the pattern that was shown you on the mountain." 6But as it is, Christ has obtained a ministry that is as much more excellent than the old as the covenant he mediates is better, since it is enacted on better promises. 7 For if that first covenant had been faultless, there would have been no occasion to look for a second.

Brian Flemming Lie. Using Flemming’s logic I must say Paul obviously knew about Christ because he quotes the life of Christ several places among his writings (including, Romans, 1 Timothy, and 1 Corinthians). Plus if you ever actually read the text you would understand a special word called "Context" (I went to school to learn that one ;-) ).

Part III (Chapter 5-10)
Part three was kind of interesting. There are a lot of people making a lot of claims but hardly anyone showed any evidence of any claims. Did ya get all that? Basically what we call in my profession, which is nothing, ‘crap talking.’ Brian and his crew was basically trying to develop the idea that Jesus was a made up story that turned real. Let us begin. : - ) They’ll try to say that Jesus was a myth turned into cult leader.

Face vs. Fiction (Chapter 5)
In this chapter Flemming gets a bunch of people to define the gospel without any sort of evidence or support. For example….

Richard Carrier: “Mark himself probably did not believe he was writing history, he was a symbolic message, he was writing a gospel, the good news, using biblical parallels, using parallels to pagan religions.” Richard here never uses any sort of evidence while making this statement. He just makes it. But even if you believe him based on good faith, Richard Carrier never tells us what the "good news” that Mark was writing about, especially IF Mark didn’t believe that Jesus existed.

Alan Dundes: Says that there are other stories thrown out of the Bible because they are too fantastical. He never defends this statement he just makes it. Then Brian actually brings up the point about why would they keep some of the other stories that are equally fantastical (walking on water or rising from the dead). Alan’s response was basically that if you took it all out you would have nothing in the Bible “begat begat begat” to quote Alan Dundes specifically.

Robert M. Price: This guy basically says that in the Gospel they were trying to rewrite history. His main reason for believing that it is just a made up story is that in moments where known historical events occur the text has too many “outrages improbabilities.” He later goes on to say that there are other ancient Jews and ancient Christians who believe Jesus died in other centuries. He never says who they are or where he found this information out. He just makes this statement. Oh and just because is an outrages improbability doesn't mean it didn't happen

This chapter brought up interesting ideas but does not bring up one scrap of evidence.

Urban Legends (Chapter 6)
This is a short chapter which doesn’t really talk about anything religious. Brian Flemming asks Barbara and David P. Mikkelson’s (editors or owners of Urban Legends Reference Pages) how fiction stories get to a point where they are considered real. He never mentions Jesus or anything like that but yeah. However this part of the film was funny because they played up the fact that false stories become known as real as if it was some big secret. The music is spooky and everything... its funny.

The Hero Pattern (Chapter 7)
In this section Alan Dundes quotes a book he edited himself that made a list of common Hero traits. Then he says that Jesus had many of these hero traits.

Pagan Saviors (Chapter 8)
In this chapter Robert M. Price says there are other similar stories to Jesus in history. He makes a funny comment though. He says that “nobody thinks these characters [the ones with similar stories to Christ] are anything but mythical.” To me that would stand out as something interesting. If these people all have the same stories and this is the only one considered to be real shouldn’t that seem something?

Satan Did It (Chapter 9)
In this chapter Robert M. Price says that “this was such a problem” [people having similar stories as Jesus] that the early church fathers tried to come up with an excuse. He then quotes Justin Martyr’s apology. He then does another caricature of Justin Martyr. The funny thing is Robert Price does some misleading about Justin Martyr. Justin Martyr wrote about the similarities between Jesus and Dionysus not because the pagans were like ‘oh well we heard this Jesus story before and we don’t believe it’ [as Robert Price says] but because the Pagans couldn’t see the similarities between the two. The Pagans were persecuting the Christians and Justin was trying to say they were being persecuted for believing in things that are not that unique.

Read it here yourself.

In regards to the idea that Satan did some false signs before God did the real one. That is a belief of many. However this is not an issue of what the Bible says. It is an issue of what people believe. So far this seems to be a running theme. Brian Flemming seems to be more angry with what other people think rather than with what the Bible says.

Christians Don't Know (Chapter 10)
In this section they ask those same Christians (the ones at the Billy Graham Crusade) if they ever heard of (then he list several Greek mythological figures) and says Christians don’t know anything about it even though it’s the same. However I think if you randomly asked almost anybody this list they couldn’t tell you. I think it’s funny, sad, lame trying to fault Christians for not knowing Greek mythology.

Part IV (11-14)

In this section Brian Flemming is trying to say that Christians are evil.

It's about Blood (Chapter 11)
This was a really short chapter. Basically in this chapter he says Christians are all into blood sacrifices. Then he adds this interesting thought about how people have been into blood sacrifices. It’s an interesting thought. Why would people be into blood sacrifice? I mean in Christianity there is the whole thing about God sacrificing an animal to clothe Adam and Eve in the beginning. But if you don’t believe in that stuff why would people (Aztec and Mayans were the example in the movie) be into blood sacrifices? I mean it’s just gross. Anyway this chapter is about how much Christians love blood. Again trying to play up the idea that Christians are evil.

The Passion (Chapter 12)
This chapter is really about Mel Gibson. Still running with the idea that Christians love blood, Brian Flemming is trying to say that “The Passion” did so well because Christians love blood. He then does a minute by minute commentary on Passion of the Christ to show how bloody it is. The funny thing he re-comments on the same blood. So for example if Jesus got punched in the face and there was blood, he will comment on that blood till the blood is whipped off his face or till the end of the movie.

The only thing I would really say about this funny chapter is that all of Mel Gibson’s movies are bloody! Brian must have never watched the Patriot or Braveheart or any other Mel Gibson’s movies. But I guess you can blame Christians for that? And I guess you never take production value in perspective.

Soldiers for God (Chapter 13)
This section of video just shows clips of radical Christians pretending to be soldiers. He then gets Richard Carrier basically to say that Religion causes harm. He says that homosexual treatment is getting worst. Then he says that any religion that treats homosexuals wrong is wrong.

In regards to the radical Christian thing, I would say that showing those clips to represent Christianity is like showing the World Trade Towers and Car Bombings to represent Islam or like showing clips of Stalin to represent Atheist.

Moderate Chrstianity (Chapter 14)
In this section Brian Flemming tries to say that Christians should hurt people like during the time of the Inquisitions. He then pulls out some of the Levitical Laws and shows them as reasons to hurt people. Two things I would say about this. First these laws really apply towards God’s people. So if you were going to take a law about killing homosexuality it would only apply to Christian homosexuals. Second thing I would say is that only those perfect in the Law could execute judgment of the Law, namely Jesus. The reasons Christians shouldn’t kill homosexuals, as Brian says they should, is because nobody is perfect in the Law.

Also in this section Brian Flemming blames American corruption on Christians. He shows clips of the Iraq prison scandal and tries to imply that it was a Christian crime. This of course is stupid.

Part V (Chapter 15-17)
There isn’t really much to say here. In this section they are trying to say that Christian beliefs are stupid. I will deal with these three chapters as one chapter because they are all the same thing run together.

Rapture Ready (Chapter 15) Left Behind (Chapter 16) Crazy (Chapter 17)
At this point they basically say that believing in the rapture makes a person crazy. As a total side note I love the guy sets up this video. He has the Christian in a dark room with almost no light and the atheist outside among the trees in the light. In chapter 17, Brian Flemming reveals that he used to be a Christian himself.

Part VI (18-22)
This section I will also treat as one section because it is so short. Basically here Brian does an interview at his old school with the Superintendent Ronald Sipus. He basically is upset that they are allowed to teach 1800 students (which he says as often as he can) about Jesus. Sadly it does seem that he was misleading with the Superintendent with setting up the interview. But anyway Brian basically asks why are they allowed to teach kids about heaven and hell if there isn’t 100% proof on it. This is a valid question if you acknowledge that half the stuff we’re taught does not have 100%.

School Daze (Chapter 18) The Superintendent (Chapter 19) Faith vs Evidence (Chapter 20) We Need To Stop (Chapter 21) Chapel (Chapter 22)

The main issue I would like to say here, and this is something I think Brian never knew, is that blaspheming the Holy Spirit is not doubting the Holy Spirit. In the movie Brian tries to say that thinking = doubting = hell. Brian Flemming Lied. You’re allowed to think and question and even doubt. I mean how can you trust something if you never question it? I mean eventually you learn more and your questions get answered. I have never found a question I couldn’t get an answer too. But that doesn’t stop my search for more knowledge.

Video messed up

2008-10-10T14:05:00.001-07:00

Since the video on my last post was taken down, I decided to write a new post. Nothing super just an update.

First let me tell you what was on the video. The video was a kid who was telling his mother he liked her only when she gave him cookies. There was more to the dialog and the child obviously wasn't being hateful (just being a child) but it really struck me. It really made me think of how I treat God. God is my father and he is so lovable. There is so many reasons to be amazed by Him and yet sometimes in my selfishness and my narrow perspective I get angry with God because I feel life is hard and seemingly not fair. But I suppose sometimes you need to get out side of yourself to see what is really going on. To see what is really true.

Secondly I have been preparing (physically) for the LAPD. I've been running and running. It's getting better but I have a LONG way to go. Although I think I'll be able to make it. It's not an easy process at all. It takes so long just to get to the academy. Then the academy is 6 months of joy. To pass the POST Exam (makes you a cop) there are 5 events which are on a time based point system. 1) 99 yard obstacle course. 2) 165lbs dummy drag for 32ft. 3) 6ft Chain link fence jump. 4) 6ft Solid Wall jump. 5) 500yr run. I have to get a high enough score just to pass the POST exam. The Academy expects more out of us than that. By the week prior to entry the expect us to be able to run 4miles at 9-10mins a mile. 25-30 push ups (3 sets). 35-40 sit ups (3 sets). 3-15 Pull ups (3 sets). 25-35 Leg lifts (3 sets). And that is just for the week prior. It only gets harder after that. In the Academy we will be tasered, pepper sprayed, and gassed. The physical stuff is pretty hard but the scholastic stuff is freaking crazy too! Have to learn everything from self-defense to court procedures. Anyway it'll be a hoot and a holla but I'll just keep going till I can't do it anymore. Running is my bane. So I am running like crazy to try and change my mind-set on it. Its getting better but like I said, a long way to go.

Thats all for now. There is more to say but I am not in the mood anymore. I've been giving lots of 'fun' stuff to deal with right now. Peace

Shame

2008-10-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve watched that video so many times. At first I was like “that kid needs some discipline” then I went to “that poor mother” then I went to “Thats who I am to God sometimes” (saying sometimes almost only for my benefit)

and now I sit in shame

I'm sorry God

There is too much to say....

2008-10-01T15:49:00.000-07:00

The amount of stories I am skipping is unbelievable even for me. But just for a quick update.

I passed my entrance exam for LAPD. So anyway from 4 months to 2 years I will eventually become one of LA’s finest….hopefully. It will be a rewarding career and I’ll get to serve and protect people. I’m very excited to get the opportunity to help. Hopefully this process will go by smoothly and quickly. My buddy and I both passed the LAPD exam and now head bang to the COPS theme song. You know the “Bad boys bad boys whatchya gonna do whatchya gonna do when they come for you.”

Also I watched the DVD “The God Who Wasn’t There” and I will post that info up soon. So if you were reading because you were curious about the “Evolutionists” responses then no worries, it will come. I will respond about the movie and the responses to my original open invite posts.

And I am still madly in love with a woman of incomprehensible inner and outer beauty. I can’t say enough about that. She is so wonderful and supportive it’s incredible. God has blessed me so much. She has so much patience for me. She is unbelievably amazing.

Anyway thats a quick update.
Peace in the middle east

Praise God

2008-09-22T13:25:00.001-07:00

I praise God today because I am here

I have survived

Despite every failed exam
Despite every filled position
Despite every unopened vacancy
Despite every rejected application
Despite every lack of requirements
Despite every try our other store
Despite every lack of experience
Despite every fleeting hope

Despite every
Thing

I am here still

As a child of weakness
He is my
Strength

As a child of sorrow
He is my
Comfort

As a child of fear
He is my
Peace

As child of loneliness
He is my
Love

And In Him
I have
Hope

I praise God today
because He is
Awesome

Amen

Friend

2008-09-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

A friend to the sinner
A friend to the outcast
A friend to the broken
A friend to the weak
A friend to the poor
A friend to the sorrowful
A friend to the lost
A friend to the lonely
A friend to the downtrodden
A friend to the rejected

I have one good friend

Proof

2008-09-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

This is proof of the last post

Car FunTimes

2008-09-10T02:12:00.001-07:00

Anybody who knows me, I mean KNOWS me knows that I find myself in interesting situations quite often. There are too many of these crazy stories to share. I have experienced so many random things that I can’t even remember all of them. I have so many true stories to tell you that you wouldn’t believe, one as an example involved trash hovering about 100ft in the air about my work (it’s a strange story that I won’t go into now).

Well one story that has got my attention recently I decided to share.

I have to prep it with a pre-story otherwise it would never make sense. Scratch that; suffice it to say through a long series of events the linkage in my manual transmission (the part that holds the stick together with the gears) ended up being jerry rigged and wrapped up in wire to hold a screw in (sounds silly but if you knew the story it would make sense).

Anyway so we come to today. My one day off. Today my loving fiancé decided that we really needed to get that part of my car fixed. So we take it in and after a few hours and a funny/obscene phone call I was informed that in regards to the cost of the repairs vs. the value of my car that it would be better to leave my linkage jerry-rigged (just in case you don’t know the term ‘jerry-rigged’ means like patchwork. Like its fixed but not really fixed properly) because I did “a good job.” As a result of a few situation (stories in their own right) I ended up having some free time this afternoon. This is a rare treat so I decided to see if I could spend some of that time with a good friend of mine (because my fiancé also had to leave) who lived about 45mins-1hr away from me. After having hanging out with my friend I was going to take him home then head back home myself.

Whelp, that’s right when it happens. As we’re driving home my stick-shift stops responding. We were stuck on the side of the road until a few moments later when I come up with the idea to pull out my center consol and to shove my hand in the right spot and get myself to first gear. Now in first gear I can at least sort of drive to a nearby gas station. Once in the gas station I can hop out and try to fix it. Only problem is that I have no tools and no light being that it is about 10-11 here. After inspecting the accused offender I decided that I needed to get some equipment. So my buddy and I walk to a Walgreens that is close by to get supplies.

Duct Tape
Zip Ties
Shoe String
Small Tool Set
Prayer

Sadly enough the Tool Set was the least useful thing I had with me to fix the car. After about an hour maybe an hour and a half worth of fiddling I get something I feel might hold it together longer than getting out of the parking lot. Now at this point my stick-shift is seriously held together by zip ties and shoe string. Anyway we say a prayer and get the car rolling. I actually am able to get my friend back to his home, but because I am afraid that once I stop the car I can’t get it started again I keep going. This is particularly difficult because thanks to a 60oz drink at my local AmPm I have to urinate. Anyway I go for it. It seems all is going well until I get to the free entrance.

Once I get to the entrance my little plan started to fail, the shifter stops responding and I am losing control again. So I put my hand back in and get it to first so I can pull off the road. During this process I actually get it to 5th gear and decided to just stay on the freeway. After about 45mins of an unnerving drive I finally find myself on the exit I need. At this point my car decides it hates what I am doing and completely rejects my help. Somehow I manage to get my car back into first gear; which means I can only drive about 10mpg on a 30mpg exit at a semi-trailer truck stop. Through all these woes I actually get back to home, get through the gate, shut the gate and made it my parking spot.

After declaring God is a badass I grabbed my stuff and went straight for my door because I really had to urinate. That’s when bad news struck. The doors were locked. All of them. I went around the building and tried to find a way in (this would make more sense if you saw where I lived). I recently had a talk with one of my supervisors about locking all the doors and keeping me locked out so I was particularly frustrated. So I walked over to one of our walks and let my urine free like sea turtles returning to the ocean.

After relieving myself I got on the phone with my fiancé (who is wonderful) and let her know that I was home but unable to get in. She suggested I called some family members of hers close by and see if I could stay with them. But after all that hassle I didn’t want to give up. I was victorious and I wanted to walk in like a badass too. What I really wanted to do was kick one of the doors in. I watched it on this video and ever since I really wanted to try it. However I didn’t want to be in trouble for kicking a door in. So I found myself in a quite the pickle. Anyway while talking on the phone I decided to see if there was a way to open the doors. So I started pushing on one of the doors and well not to incorrectly incriminate myself of anything I will not continue any further. Let’s just say I made it inside.

Anywho if you know me and want the rest of the story just ask me in person or on the phone or something.

Peace out

Evolutionist Open Invite

2008-09-09T00:57:00.000-07:00

So recently I've been able to have a ton of conversation with Evolutionist; both online and in person. One thing that has been difficult for me is that lack of specifics. Now I'm not accusing any side of anything (yet). But one thing I see happen in almost all of my conversations is a blanket statement like this "all science agrees there is no god and/or evolution is true." Nobody says anything specific though, at least to me.

So here is my invitation to any evolutionist out there who wants to actually share their beliefs:

I am asking any evolutionist to educate me on direct information about evolution. What I mean specifically is to say "these bones here make me believe evolution is true because" or something like “this animal makes me believe in evolution because.”

Now if you’re going to talk about some kind of date like you say “these bones make me believe evolution is true because they are 100 billion smillion years old” then please justify the dating process and not the date. So say something like Radio Metric Dating makes me believe in Evolution because. Also if you want to say something like “in Physics we believe ….. to be true so there for I don’t think …… is true; therefore God doesn’t exist or Evolution is true” that would be great. Please be specific.

Now if you’d rather say you don’t believe in God because… that’s also ok. Just please be very specific.

Also I ask that you don’t use links to web pages to justify your belief. Please just state your belief and add any websites at the end of your comment.

Thanks!

Happy Hunting

Still here

2008-09-03T09:09:00.001-07:00

I am still here. I just wanted to only leave 2 post in August. I was going to post on Sept 1st but I got really busy reading other blog pages and that sort of thing.

So quick updates.

I might be joining the Army. After finishing my second Bachelor I realize I still don't have many job potentials and the few I do receive have no future. The Army offererd me 20k for student loan repayment, 20k sign on bonus (10k I receive right after training), and a decent job. I took the practice ASVAB and got the score I needed for the job I want. Thursday I am going to take the real exam and see what happens. The recruiter is driving me to San Deigo to take it, that way I can see my score immediatly. My plans would be at this far to join the Reserves, then join ROTC (as soon as possible afterwards) to get my Masters, and then go back in for awhile as an Officer. I am still not 100% sure yet but we'll see what they say Thursday.

I am still in love with the most amazing woman ever. My fiance is so amazing. Fellas I can't even tell you, and if I could I still wouldn't. Trust me she is so amazing and smart and wonderful and kind and sweet and gentle and funny and so much more. I love her.

Oh and yeah I finished the second degree, but I said that already. I think I can get it today actually! I just remembered that! So I will pick it up Thursday after my meeting in San Deigo or maybe even before. Stupid last minute summer course. *grumbles*

Anyway that is it for now because I have to go to work. See ya

I give up on Part II for now

2008-08-16T01:09:00.001-07:00

I’ve been trying and trying to write this Part II.

I just can’t find the words to describe the awesomeness of Jesus.

One thing that is awesome about Jesus is that he hasn’t given me an easy life. I greatly appreciate that my life, as the lives of many others, hasn’t been too easy. I have met people who have had things given to them their whole lives and never had to think on their own and they are usually as deep as gental rain drops. There is no depth in them. Because of the situations in my life I have been able to appreciate certain things and learn certain things. That’s enough said.

Since I can’t speak too much on the awesomeness of Jesus, because His awesomeness is too overwhelming to speak about, I am going to list a few things He did that I appreciate.

1] Extremeness/Hilariousness

One thing I love about God is how awesome He is in his extremes and how comical it turns out to be sometimes. For example his blessings are always creative. Like the water and wine thing. Jesus shows up on the scene and the first miracle he does is provide alcoholic beverages. That’s freakin funny! That will ruin the theology of many people around the world but he did! Or take like the ones with the blind guy. He walks up and spits in the guy’s eye and says “go wash that out.” Once the guy does he can see! That’s a little funny. Even some of his curses area funny! Like when Jesus was kicked the priest and scribes out of the temple! I love the descriptions given. He made a whip out of cords and then he ‘drove’ them out and over turned their tables! HE MADE THE WHIP!!! Hahaha He didn’t just get one or just use one. No no. He freaking made it! Hahahaha. I always wondered if he was humming “Amazing Grace” or something when he did it. Or like the cursing the fig tree thing! He basically walked up and told it to piss off and then it died. Ahahahahahaha. That’s hilarious!

People often try to make Jesus a wussy. The extreme sides of God are often over looked But those people, I say, never read the Bible or never cared to read the hard parts.

2] Breast

This is actually what I wanted to write first but I was afraid people wouldn’t read it. God created breasts! Women are so intelligent, sweet, kind, nurturing, beautiful, loving, consider, challenging, fun, and so many numerous things. But on top of this he put breasts on them! I mean Bravo! But what is really awesome is that he didn’t just give them one boob. No no no. He gave them two! I love this guy! I couldn’t for the life of me explain how He came up with that idea. In a matter of fact I couldn’t explain to you why they are amazing. But by golly they are amazing! OBVIOUSLY THIS IS NOT THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT WOMEN. IT IS NOT EVEN THE MOST SPECIAL THING ABOUT THEM. IT IS ONE OF MANY

TWO!!! I LOVE THIS GUY!

3] Bagpipes

Do I really need to say anything? Bad ass

4] Races

Now this is one thing I’m sure people might get bad about but Jesus made different races. I mean like people groups ‘races.’ He didn’t just make humans. He made humans and they are all unique. One fact of their uniqueness comes from traits they get from their races. I know people have use these differences as excuses to hate but that’s stupid. Races are a beautiful expression of the variety that we live in.

5] Forgiveness

Of all the creation this one has been the most useful to me. In all my horridness and failures Jesus forgave me. Forgiveness is the most amazing thing. It can turn a bad situation and make it good instantaneously. His type of forgiveness leaves a person cleansed of all sins even the ones they didn’t commit yet. That is purely Bad Ass! Jesus is a Bad Ass. That’s right I said it.

In conclusions the awesomeness of Jesus is too hard to explain. There is too much to say. My list hopefully showed that he is unique, that he cares about us and our needs, and he can provide for us in ways that are unmatched.

Jesus is awesome.

For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Don’t let “CHRISTIANS” make you hate the Christ. (Part I)

2008-08-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

Of all the things I will write that people might read I hope this is it.

Don’t let “CHRISTIANS” make you hate the Christ.

There are so many different examples and so many different ways to describe why this would happen but it will never be an excuse. I am not going to validate their hypocritical cowardly behavior by even defending myself against them. I will not even tell you who ‘they’ might be. They can throw their stones at me but Christ already set me free. They can gossip. They can mock. They can slander. They can worry about a splinter. They can judge another master’s servant. They can do all these things but they can’t capture me.

They can’t make me not love them. They can’t make me hate them. They can’t make me become sarcastic about the church. They can’t make me feel more righteous than them. Any of these or anything like these would be my sin. When I sin I need to repent and trust Jesus to make myself right with God. I do sin. Jesus is faithful to forgive those who repent.

The church is not perfect. The church is made up of imperfect people trying to be like a perfect savior. They will make mistakes. They will sin. It is ok. They have been forgiven. Those who have been forgiven much are responsible to forgive little.

THEY ARE LITTLE

I can forgive little.

I AM LITTLE

I am already forgiven.

You can’t use the sins of a human to defend your loveless attitude towards God. Sometimes the after mass of these “CHRISTIANS” give you the best opportunity to love the needy. They give believers the opportunity to witness. They give believers the opportunity to demonstrate the faith.

The ‘righteous’ don’t need to repent because they don’t need what God has to offer (forgiveness). Allow them to remain unrepentant. That’s between them and the Almighty.

Christ is so much more than this. Christ is so much more than this that I can’t even write about it in this blog. I will have to do a whole other blog for that and even that won’t capture an ounce of whom Christ is. I will try to write about it more.

Unforgiven

2008-07-29T02:31:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time finding my place in the church. I’m always trying to fit in with these groups but eventually I just end up feeling like I’m lying or I don’t fit in. I’ve been dealing with that a little more recently, for a variety of reasons, and it fascinates me. Like one thing that gets me is that it seems I am not allowed to talk about certain things. The topics are all over the map. It can be something as simple as music. In some groups you’re only allowed to talk about “Christian music,” which in my opinion is neither Christ nor music (not all the time obviously). In other groups I’m not allowed to talk about doubts and struggles. In other groups you can’t talk about theological things because you’re either being ‘devise,’ ‘to complex,’ or ‘you can only talk about it if you agree with blah blah blah.’ I know we’re to be careful with the way we speak (ex. Ephesians 4:29, 1 Peter 3:10, James 3:9-12) but shouldn’t we be honest with each other so we could help each other (James 5:16, 1 John 1:9)? It’s not just speech. I mean I find different groups in the church wanting me to behave differently. I’m not talking about denominations (although they are guilty of these things). I’m talking people. Groups of people do these things.

Anyway it just seems to me that I find myself not being allowed to be real and ‘christian’ in certain places. These people have been making me feel guilty or rather I have been feeling guilty because of the judgment I felt by them. I was always trying to be like them. I was trying to correct whatever error they accused me with. I was trying to deny myself because that is what we’re supposed to do. And then I realized something significant……I can’t be unforgiven.

I can’t be unforgiven

I CAN’T BE UNFORGIVEN

I CAN NOT BE UNFORGIVEN!!!!!

I CAN NOT BE UNFORGIVEN!!!!

I can never be condemned again. Nobody can ever hold anything against because the creator of the universe said so! I have been forgiven! I can’t be condemned because God already forgave me. There is no guilt on me. I have been cleansed. You can’t make me dirty then judge me again. I was already made clean and I am free!

I am free and can’t be tied down again (John 8:36). The blood saved me (Exodus 12:13) and death has passed me (John 5:24) and that’s awesome! You can’t wipe the blood off of me and ask death to come again! So I’m not perfect (1 John 1:10) I know that already. So I don’t fit in with some groups. That’s ok I fit in somewhere else (Colossians 1:19-23). The devil can remind me of my sins and people can cast their stones but nothing can separate me from Jesus (Romans 8:38-39). That’s not an excuse for me to just be my old self (Ephesians 4:20-24); however I am to be honest and try to benefit those who hear me (Ephesians 4:25-30).

So for those who wonder let me tell you my place in the church. I was a former coveter, lying, thieving, adulteress, murder who was a dishonorable idolater that broke every Sabbath and had no respect for God. I was an offender against the Law. AND I QUALIFIED FOR SALVATION! (suck on that!) Then I was saved because I believed (John 3:16). I still go through trials but I knew that I would and I know why (John 15:18-19, 1 Peter 4:12-14). But now I have the joy of salvation and I am going to tell as many people as I can so that they might turn towards God because that’s my place in the church (Psalms 51:10-13).

Psalm 51:10-13

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.

Bathroom Funtimes

2008-07-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

*Warning: This will be a graphic and disgusting post. Reader discretion advised: Warning*

Of all that randomness and horrors and blasphemes I get to experience throughout my days I chose this very special story to share with you. I warn you the nature of this post isn’t pleasant and bathroom issues will be discussed.

It started about 11pm on Thursday and I got to spend most of the day with my fiancé (which is a rare treat). We ended the day with me convincing her to try a fish taco from Del Taco and getting to listen to some stories from her mom and little sister. I was heading back because they were all exhausted and I, who consumed some Del Taco moments prior, desperately had to use the bathroom. On the drive home I was starting to become nervous because my stomach, which in this case is a polite way to say my rear end, was giving me the tell tale sign of an explosion on the way. I had to unload a laundry basket and a few things from the car and I was debating if I should just go to the bathroom and come back or do it in one trip. Being of the conservative nature, in other words lazy, I decided to make an attempt to test fate and see if I could get it in one load. Once I got to my home I have to go through series of locks and gates… this was a horribly longer process than normal because I had Nagasaki in the back of my mind screaming at me to just drop my shorts and go in a bush. As soon as I was at my parking spot I had to unlock the other side of the car and then lock mine but make sure I had my stuff. I was trying to get all of my stuff in my hands and lock and shut the car door. Once I finally got that done, I begin my usual stumbling through a darkness that is so dark it almost becomes its own physical barrier I have to push through. The whole time my ‘stomach’ is screaming at me that if I don’t release the pressure it will and I will not like it. Once I make it to my door I go through another series of doors and locks to get inside. Finally being on the inside I am practically tossing my stuff around to get inside and lock the doors behind me. The pressure got so bad I didn’t even have time to shut the bathroom door.

The moment I got inside was the moment it all went downhill. As expected I gave my tithes and offerings at the porcelain alter. While ‘giving’ I was trying to text my fiancé to let her know I got home alright and someone else who texted me earlier. This, to digress for a moment, is quite hypocritical of me because I think doing anything in the bathroom besides ‘going’ is gross…. except for texting. As I’m about to finish I hear this random sound like something fell. Never have I jumped so fast in my life the moment I saw that cockroach who fell from the who knows what. Many of you may know and many of you may not know, but I have been dealing with cockroaches so much since being down here that I have studied them on my free time and find new ways to kill those SOBs. This particular bugger caught me completely exposed as exposed can be. I felt swiftness was better than torture for his mode of death. So with my sandals on, which I normally don’t try, I smashed that little bugger back to hell he came from.

(WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD)

I am now standing with my shorts around my ankles, exposed as a newborn, anxiously wanting to clean myself (or in other words “wipe”). I am staring at the little hell bound cockroach wanting to sit but concerned that his soulless body might get up and jump in my short. This may sound unreasonable to some but those who know….know! Anyway sanitation won over fear and I sit down to wipe. As I sit down I notice a few ants, which later became a couple ants, which became many ants, which became me jumping up again off the toilet as I realize the floor is practically moving! Fretfully frustrated I am back to the dilemma about cleaning myself and watching out for the infested floor. I do a quick hop to the toilet and wipe and hop back up out the bathroom, begging to God nobody is around to see me exposing myself. Finally I get to pull up the shorts, which at this point I have completely jumped out of and am inspecting for further bug development. Well at this point I am annoyed and want to find an evil way to dispatch these little devils; but first I must dispose of waste in the toilet…. And then I realized it… the water doesn’t work for this toilet. To get the toilet to flush I have to go through a series of turning on the water enough to fill the tank to just the right spot then flushing then waiting until its gone and turning the water off again. I have to do all this with little mischievous sprites running amok all over the moving floor.

Well while debating my plan of attack and talking on the phone with my amazingly wonderful fiancé I decided it is time to Windex these little buggers back to hell to meet up with their cockroach buddy. Windex like fried their little brains out and I was so happy with that. Then I did a bad thing… I decided to look under the rug to see if there were anymore. There were so many ants that if the floor I wasn’t in the room I think they would have picked up the toilet and walked off with it. So what could I do? I used so much Windex that if these little guys didn’t die of nerve damage they at least became sterile and had their little bugger genitals fall off. I used so much Windex I was practically Dr. Eduard Wirths of the Third Reich. I used so much Windex that I was waiting for a Mac guy to pop out the back and tell me I don’t have to have windows… I should spray that guy later.

Anyway that was that. There are so many stories I can’t keep track of any of them. I hope we get to read our books in heaven later…. This stuff is hilariously horrible.

Correctional Deputy Exam

2008-07-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

So I took the Correctional Deputy Exam. It was really interesting and very long. It was like a 4hr exam and we were there the whole exam. Parking seemed like the tricky thing to me. I couldn’t figure out where to park. I felt like that was part of the test. There were actually a lot of people. At one point two SUVs pulled over and these people in BUDs came out and I was like “oh crap they’re gonna start screaming at us like Drill Instructors.” But they didn’t ;-) (thank God). Anyway once we got there it took us a while to start. And one thing I heard from lots of people is that almost everyone fails the first time. This is my first time so I have no idea but I am prepared either way. Although I now have to learn how to run.

The first part of the exam, which was the longest, was a video exam of like 88 questions. It was all on a video so it kept running, no stopping. They would announce the situation, then they would show it on a video, then they would show four possible solutions and you had to pick one. It was tricky because sometimes more than one seemed way right. Usually one or two were for sure wrong. Anyway I have no idea how I did. I usually leaned more towards keeping the situations calm while keeping the rules. The last part of this section was judging if a situation was good performance or bad performance. It was hard because sometimes the solution compare to the announcement seemed wrong but the solution compared to what the video showed was right. It was just tricky and I have no idea. One funny thing with this part is that the video kept going from rated G to rated R. It would switch off too. For the sake of any readers I won’t give too many examples but it would go from “super nice almost gay” to “crude sexual obscene deviant.”

The second part they showed us a video clip of a situation then gave us 15secs to take notes, then they showed the video clip again with another 15secs of notes, then a different video clip with the 15secs of notes, and then repeated the last clip again with another 15secs for notes. After they showed both clips twice we then had 15minutes to write a report. I don’t know how I did because I finished early and I tried using short clear sentences. But I didn’t have too much to say but I wanted to let them know I noticed stuff so I talked about random things.

The third part (which was actually fourth part they gave to us in the wrong order) was a counting section. I was really curious what they meant the whole time about the counting section. They meant this. They would show a picture of a cell block. They would tell you how many inmates could go in the cells and how many people were there currently. Then it would list a series of events, like 1) this guy got out 2) this guy got out 3) this guy got it 4)this guy moved from this cell to that cell 5) this guy got out and 6)this guy got in. Then you had to say how many inmates were currently in the cell block and how many you could fit there.

The fourth section was a writing section. They basically wrote a paragraph about a topic and they left a bunch of words out. Each blank spot had multiple options for what the word could be. All you had to do was fill in the spots using context to help you choose. The problem I had with part three and four was that each one was timed. The book and the proctor each said that you would not be able to finish the test in time but rather you should shoot for accuracy rather than completion. I finished both sections with lots of time to spare. I checked both again and I feel like I did it right but who knows.

Anyway who knows. I am prepared for either way. Like on one side I can't say that I feel God leading me to do this. But I also don't know what else to do. If I had another option that I felt God was directing me I would go for it. At minimum I feel this is a good way to pay off our (mine and my amazing fiance`'s) student loan while at the same time helping us get through this depression. I hear great things about the job though. I think if I love the job and decided to stay I might try to switch to Sheriff Deputy rather than Corrections. Who knows!

Greatness

2008-07-13T23:59:00.001-07:00

Father,

You have blessed me in so many ways. I would like to thank you and I’d like to do it so that everyone can see that way maybe they can think of different things to thank you for.

God I don’t even know where to start. I’d like to thank you for my job. It has been such a blessing. I would have never expected to be working at a place like this but it has been such a blessing. I’ve got to have so many new experiences and new opportunities. Thank you so much. My bosses are great and their family has been so wonderful too me. Thank you for giving me a place to live also. Not everyone can say that. Thank you for the food in my stomach and the bed I sleep on. You are the provider. God I want to thank you for the air condition that has made my sleeping so great. I want to thank you for all the special blankets that people have made me. Lord I want to thank you for my cell phone which has allowed me to remain in contact with different people and has served me well. My car also has served me so well and I know that is your doing and I want to thank you. The ability to take showers is also such a blessing. I’ve gone through times where I didn’t have showers and I know that blessing it is to have one. Thank you Jesus. God I want to thank you for art. It makes life so interesting and it makes everyday objects seem more fascinating. You are the creator. God I love music with deep meaning and I thank you for the various artists that bring this music to life. Father right now I really want to thank you for Amy Lee or whatever her new last name is. I don’t know if she has a relationship with you but I hope she does. God if she doesn’t please go get her. Thanks for bringing Flobots, Flogging Molly, and Todd Agnew into the world. Thank you Jesus for making different groups that brings variety to the world. God specifically I want to thank you for the Irish and the Spanish. God you know why I am bringing those two groups up and I think going in more detail would make this prayer showy. Thank you for knowing my mind and know me more than I know myself. God thank you for helping me fight temptation. You are my protector.

God you have brought so many great people in my life. God I want to thank you for the professors at CBU that have helped me. God specifically Dr. Chute, Dr. Mooney, Dr. Mobley, Dr. Dan, Dr. Key, Professor Lewis, Dr. Bates, Professor Shearer, Dr. Mosteller, and a few others have changed my life forever. Please bless them and thank you for bringing them to a place at a time where I was ready to hear them. Thank you for the professor at COS that had mercy and fun with me. There are many whose names I can’t remember please bring them to you. God I want to thank you for the administrators and staff/faculty that go unnoticed. God I want to thank you for them, not just in the school setting but in all aspects of life. God thank you for Sarah, Michael, and Katie. I’ve learned a lot from them in many ways. They are a great blessing. Thank you so much for Alicia’s family they also have taught me so much on so many topics. They’ve also been so kind to me Lord please bless them. Thank Jesus for Alicia. She has changed me in many ways as well. God I appreciate you using her as the tool that has stopped me from just wandering some random country for fun. God I am excited for our future and hope we life it according to your purpose. God there are so many people to be thankful for I can’t list them all. Jake, Corey, Alex, Jessie, Hines, Laura, Reagan, McCormick, Cynthia from Walgreens and that other Mexican lady and the Bald guy,Rachel Zach Holly, Denise and Gary, Katherine Karen Al Aaron, Brad Elena, Aaron Tif, Mr and Mrs. Montgomery, Joey and Rich and their family, Bob and Mary Hall, etc. God there are so many people past and present that I can’t think of them all. God I want to thank you for the people you are going to bring into my life. There will be many challenges but I want to thank you ahead of time. Again I want to thank you for Alicia. I want to thank you for everything she is and all the experiences that have made her who she is today.

God I want to thank you for the things we take for granted. God I want to thank you for clouds and rain (they are my favorites). I want to also thank you for the mountains and the oceans. I want to thank you for cool breezes and soft grass. Lord I also want to thank you for the ability to access all these things. God I want to thank you for pizza and green tea. I want to thank you for Root Beer and Skittles. God I want to thank you for Maine and the other amazing states. God I want to thank you for incents and sandwiches. God I want to thank you for movies and video games. God I want to thank you for books and more specifically poetry. God thank you for Catherine of Sienna and Edgar Allen Poe. God thank you for the millions of little things that make life extra enjoyable. Thank you for sleep! Sleep is right up there with rain and clouds. Thank you God.

God I could go on and on for all the things I am thankful for and all the things I should be thankful for. Please accept this as a prayer and a love letter. Father you are so great and I do not deserve to benefit from it. You are so great to me in so many different ways. Thank you so much.

Amen

Let the rain fall

2008-07-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

One thing recently that I've been praying for recently is rain. It started when I was reading James and it was talking about praying and believing while you pray. So I realized I doubt when I pray (depending what I ask for). In James they used an example of someone who prayed for the rains to stop and it did, then they prayed that the rain would pour and it did. So I wanted to make that my prayer (plus its freaking hot out here). One of the things in James that stood out was that this person prayed earnestly. Like they consistently prayer. So I figured I need to keep praying and keep believing.

Anyway so about after three days of asking for rain (remember its like 110 degrees out here sometime) we get heavy cloud cover. That night I had left, but when I returned I hear that night it rained. We still have cloud cover and I am praying for more rain and thanking God for the rain. So hopefully it'll rain more.

Things have been so busy that I couldn't write the Part II if I wanted. If you want to know the rest you'll need to ask me in person.